Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings
by Kuiya
Summary: Long story short - The boys are in a mental institution and Duo has a curse where he hallucinates and sees awful things. But at the MI, Duo only doesn't see things happen to Heero. It's a lot better than I make it sound, though! YAOI!
1. The Mental Institution

This is my new fanfic! Woot! I'm really happy to start this. I guess I should do some disclaimers and what-not first, tho...  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own GW or it's chars.  
  
That was exciting... wow... ::rolls eyes::  
  
Warnings: There's some language in this chapter... and I suppose I should warn you that I have no idea what I'm talking about when I describe the mental institution, so bear with me. I've never been to one and I don't know how they work or how they're set up, etc. But I'm kinda going off of the movie "28 Days" and I guess "Gothika" a little bit. I don't own them either, if it matters... And besides, someone I know who's prolly gonna read this has been there once and they can tell me if I get too outrageous. And there's some pretty gory stuff in here, so be prepared. YAOI! 1x2x1, indicated 3x4x3  
  
Anywho - I want to tell you right off that I do not want flames. If you feel you absolutely have to send stupid reviews about how bad the story is, then I'm warning you now - my reply will not be a kind one. I've tolerated them in the past, but I'm way too excited about this to take flames without caring. Reviews are meant to help authors and encourage them. I'm fairly sure it says something along those lines on the review box thingy. So no flames!!!  
  
Lifting Curses & Mending Broken Wings  
  
Chapter 1: The Mental Institution  
  
"Oh, FUCK NO!" a boy in the back seat of a silver Volvo cried out once he finally saw where his parents were taking him.  
  
"Duo!" they both yelled in unison. Duo's mother glared at him out of the corner of her eye, just daring him to curse again.  
  
He cowered against the right door behind his mother's seat. "A mental institution?! Aw, shit - Don't send me there!!" His mother commented on his language but went unnoticed by him. "I swear I'll never mention what I see again!" He shifted around like there were spiders in his pants.  
  
"It's for your own good. We want you to get better, not just hide the fact that you..." she hesitated.  
  
"Are cursed?" Duo finished for her.  
  
She sighed. "You are not cursed!"  
  
"You two quit bickering!" Duo's father was just a tad irritated. So for the rest of the trip, they were all silent.  
  
.......................................  
  
Duo glanced quickly around as they came up to a kind of check-in desk. Behind the desk was a wide flight of stairs and there were closed doors on either side of this hallway. Duo's father spoke to the woman behind the desk. He stepped up beside his mother, fingering the end of his braid nervously. His large, amethyst eyes flicked around the hall as he shifted from foot to foot.  
  
"...we spoke on the phone. My son hallucinates." Duo's dad seemed eager to get him in there and treated. The woman at the desk said something in return. "Yes, age 16, has been hallucinating for about two years..." The man continued to list things off about Duo until she nodded and told him something about his planning to be there for a month at first.  
  
Duo dropped his braid and felt it slide along his back. He couldn't believe that his own parents were sending him here for a whole month! Maybe more if he didn't get better by then. As he stared incredulously at the woman speaking to his parents, her eyes turned red with blood and it started running down her cheeks in slow, crimson streams. He watched with a gruesome fascination as the blood fell onto her hands as they ruffled through some papers on the desk and typed on her keyboard. As she spoke, Duo noticed that blood was starting to trickle out the corner of her mouth. But as she continued talking, her tongue pushed out seemingly endless blood coming from nowhere.   
  
However, she continued to do her job.  
  
Thick, sticky blood poured over her white shirt and into her lap and a thin, red line began at the bottom of her ear and continued slowly down her neck along the jugular like an invisible knife was delicately and carefully cutting it. Duo's stomach lurched as blood gushed openly from the new wound and with the woman's movements, began to open further, revealing the red meat of her neck.  
  
Duo nearly cried out but he didn't. He just shut his eyes and turned his head towards the floor. He heard the voices of his parents and the woman and he opened his eyes again, staring at his shoes. He slowly looked up and was relieved to see that the woman was no longer bleeding from the eyes, mouth and neck. She looked just as she had when he came in.  
  
"Duo!" his mother called into his ear. He jumped.  
  
"What?!" he cried, turning his eyes to her face.  
  
She stopped suddenly and a solemn, knowing expression crossed her face. "I've called you three times now. You're so pale - Did you see something?" Duo said nothing, but kept his eyes on hers. "What did you see?" she asked quietly. By this time, both the woman behind the desk and Duo's father were looking at him.  
  
Duo gulped and his mother saw the muscles in his cheeks tighten as he clenched his teeth. He shook his head, refusing to tell her anything. She sighed.   
  
His hallucinations are what got him here. If he mentioned them, especially while he was here, they would just think him even crazier.  
  
.......................................  
  
Later, as Duo was being led to his room, he discovered that his parents had packed a suitcase full of clothes for him before they even left the house. He was now lugging it down a long, gray hallway with the man who was taking him to his new room.   
  
He hadn't said goodbye to his parents. He didn't regret it now. He hated them with a burning passion for this. But at the same time, he felt like these people may possibly be able to help him.  
  
But then again, this was his curse. He genuinely thought that this was a curse. Not some hint that he's absolutely crazy.  
  
He came to a door along the hall (past many others which he assumed were rooms of other "inmates") and the man opened it for him, letting him inside. "Your roommate's name is Wufei Chang," he said gruffly and left.  
  
Duo shook his head and entered the room slowly and cautiously. He was fully aware that if he was in a mental institution, there was going to be some pretty nutty people around. He tried to imagine what this boy Wufei Chang was here for, but decided not to try to guess.  
  
As he was setting his suitcase on the bed that looked neat and unused, Duo jumped at the sound of the door opening. He spun around and saw a boy about his age with onyx black eyes, black hair pulled back into a small ponytail, and a grim expression on his face. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his loose, white jeans as he came in.  
  
Duo smiled a little nervously and said, "Um... You must be Wufei... I'm Duo Maxwell."  
  
Wufei's eyes flicked to the suitcase on the bed. "How long are you staying?" he asked, strolling across the room to sit on a window seat.  
  
"A month... At first," Duo muttered unhappily. "How long have you been here?"   
  
"Three months. And I'm here for another two unless they're satisfied with their, quote-unquote, results." Wufei reached over and rummaged around in his bedside table drawer and drew out a piece of candy. He stuck the sucker in his mouth and looked out the narrow, tall, BARRED window.  
  
"If you don't mind my asking..." Duo began. Wufei's eyes drifted back over to meet Duo's. "What are you here for?"  
  
Wufei closed his eyes and chuckled. Duo heard the sucker in his mouth clicking against his teeth as his tongue pushed it into his right cheek. "I did drugs," he replied vaguely. He pointed to his bedside table. "That's why they give me things to put in my mouth. I guess it's some kind of therapy or something." He put his hands behind his head and leaned back on the wall.  
  
Duo nodded and sat down slowly on the bed, letting his eyes drift over the dark blue carpet of their room.  
  
Wufei opened his eyes and looked at Duo as he stared sadly at the floor, swimming in his own thoughts. "What about you? What're you here for?"  
  
Duo looked up and quirked an eyebrow. "I have this curse kind of thing where I hallucinate and it gets really bad. Almost every time I look at someone or something, I'll see it do something that isn't really happening. Make sense?"  
  
Wufei nodded. "But gimme an example."  
  
Duo shrugged. "Sure. If you don't mind, I'll see if it'll work on you."  
  
Wufei nodded again, giving him permission.  
  
So Duo watched him closely, focusing on the normal things you see when you look at someone. The color of his tank top shirt was black. He had no shoes on... And then Duo saw something that wasn't normal - He could suddenly see the veins and arteries in his arms and feet. They turned black, as though tar were running through them instead of blood.  
  
Wufei watched Duo's face grow pale and his amethyst eyes widened in shock. Wufei let his arms fall back down to his lap from behind his head and got chills just watching Duo. "What? What's happening?" he asked, wondering if he should be concerned.   
  
Duo didn't respond, he just watched with growing terror as those black lines running along Wufei's arms and feet bulged in little, red, blister-type things and burst, causing blood to gush out of his veins and arteries and cover every bare inch of skin on his arms and feet. The same thing seemed to be happening under his clothes. Dark, damp patches of blood bloomed on his clothes and Duo had to look away and close his eyes. He didn't want to see any more.   
  
He was panting and perspiring as he closed his eyes tightly, willing the image away. He heard Wufei call his name uncertainly and a tight band loosened around his chest. He finally looked up and saw that Wufei had sat up and was looking at him uneasily. He smiled a little and rolled his shoulders. He drew a shaky breath. "I'm not sure if you want to know what I just saw..." he warned.  
  
Wufei sat back and sighed. "No, go ahead and tell me." So he did. Wufei just shook his head in wonder when he was done. "You're either really crazy, or you really are cursed," he said.  
  
"Yea, it's been going on for two years now... It's always been really bloody and gory. Except some things just seem worse. Like maybe a hole in your shirt might be about three millimeters long, but I might see a six inch rip or something." Duo shrugged and looked at the tip of his braid held between his fingers.  
  
They were both silent for a few minutes, Duo studying his braid and Wufei watching him with interest. Then Wufei stood up. "C'mon, I'll take you to meet the other guys," he said, chewing on the plastic stick of his sucker.  
  
So they left the room and Wufei led him down to a sort of living room. There were tables and chairs around and people there gathered and talked or played card games. They stopped in the wide doorway and Wufei started to point people out. "See that blonde guy and the one next to him?" he asked, pointing to far corner where two boys sat, talking and playing a fast moving card game. Duo nodded. "The blonde one is Quatre and the other is Trowa. Trowa's like me, he did drugs. Quatre is schitzophrenic. Talks to himself. He doesn't do it very much around Trowa, though."   
  
Duo smiled and nodded. He looked around the room at the groups scattered around and saw that there was only one person who was alone. He shuffled a deck of playing cards absentmindedly while he stared out one of the tall, narrow, barred windows. His chocolate brown hair was messy in a strangely fashionable way. His eyes were sapphire blue and had a far-off look in them. Duo watched his hands shuffle, then bridge, shuffle, bridge, shuffle-  
  
"That's Heero," Wufei said on seeing who he was looking at. "He's really suicidal. I don't think you can see it from here, but he's got these awful cut scars all up his inner forearms." Wufei shuddered. "I don't know how he does it."  
  
Duo looked at Heero with pity. An annoying schoolteacher voice suddenly popped into his head saying, 'Suicide is not the answer' in a sickeningly cheery voice. He watched Heero for a few minutes and felt like there was something missing. The picture was too plain. He quickly realized that he wasn't seeing anything gory or disgusting happening to him. He suddenly expected the cards to turn into paper-thin shards of glass and he would start spouting blood from cuts that they made in his fingers as he shuffled and bridged.   
  
But they didn't. Nothing happened. Duo wondered if this was just an odd skip in the curse's usual pattern or something else beyond his knowledge. Whatever it was, he was enjoying it. Looking at someone without having their heart explode out of their chest or their throat being slit was a great relief to his eyes.  
  
But suddenly, Heero's cold, sapphire eyes turned to stare directly into Duo's amethyst ones. He blinked and quickly looked down guiltily. He heard Wufei snort. "He's kinda moody. Doesn't like people very much."  
  
Duo nodded and looked up at him, in hopes of him suggesting they either go join Trowa and Quatre or go someplace else altogether. Wufei seemed to get the message and started across the room towards the far corner where his friends sat. Duo shuffled after him, keeping close to him and looking at the floor.  
  
Heero watched with a slight scowl as the weird boy with the braid hurried after Wufei, a boy he vaguely knew. He rolled his eyes as the boy refused to make eye contact with anyone for more than a split second and his face was crimson with an embarrassed blush. He then continued staring out the window, wishing desperately that he had something sharp...  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
Woot! There's the first chapter of my newest story! I'm so happy! I feel very passionately about this story already. Probably because it's fresh meat to knaw on. I really hope this whole curse with Duo makes sense... It took me a little while to grasp the idea that was subconsciously forming in my head. I think I finally got it while I was kinda putting my actions into a story in my head (I do that a lot...). I was looking at my Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron poster and I was writing the scene in my head like I was seeing something that wasn't really happening. I thought of how much I hate it when horses scream and I imagined something random, but horrible happening to them that I would never WANT to happen to them! I'm rambling, and I don't think it makes sense, but I'm excited!!! So then I was like "Hey, that would be a pretty weird fanfic idea... Somebody has this curse where they see things..." blah blah blah, etc etc, you get the point.   
  
Anyway, please review and tell me what you think - But if you don't like it, just say "Hey, nice try - Maybe you'll do better next time." Not something like "You suck! You couldn't write a story to save your life!" Or whatever... Just... Go easy on me, kay? 


	2. Underlying Messages

Ok... I got a review telling me a little bit about the MI, so I'll see if my wanting them to have some freedom interferes much with that. But if anybody has any suggestions or want to tell me about the MI (not that many ppl would want to admit to having been there), that would be very helpful! I want it to be realistic, but not so much so that they don't have the freedom I need them to have in order to write the story. But until I learn more, be warned that this probably isn't really what MIs are really like. But in here, they're going to wear their own clothes (as you probably noticed with Wufei) though they get checked for stuff constantly; I was told Wufei shouldn't be able to have suckers... so they're gone - some other kind of candy! I like candy... hehe... Anyway! There are no girls in this for some odd reason... ::shrugs:: They can't wear shoes, but they don't have to wear socks (but that's probably unhealthy... eew... not that it really matters). They are basically free to roam from that living room place to their rooms cuz there's always someone on watch nearby - tho I never say so. They have "classes" where they talk about stuff... I don't know exactly what those are going to be about, yet... But I'm working on that, too! No metal objects. No pencils, pens, etc. So remind me to look at this if I break one of my own rules, ok?  
  
Disclaimers: See first chapter  
  
Warnings: There will probably always be that gory stuff in these, so if you didn't like the first chapter with all that stuff, you can either live with it or let me know I need to lighten up on the details a little. Ok? Ok. And I can't remember if I mentioned yaoi in the last chapter or not... And I'm too lazy to check. But there is yaoi in this story. Mostly 1x2x1 and indicated 3x4x3. Aww... Poor Fei is all left out.  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings  
  
Chapter 2: Underlying Messages  
  
It had been two days since Duo had come to the mental institution, and he was already on some sort of medication. He hated it. He knew it wouldn't kick in until about a week or two after he'd been taking it, and it was pissing him off. He usually hung out with Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre and he hadn't even taken much notice of Heero after the first day. Sometimes, though, if he and Wufei, Trowa, or Quatre were walking down the hall, they would pass by Heero and one of them would say a friendly hello and he would just nod politely in return. Duo had never heard him speak.  
  
Duo had also began blindfolding himself with a folded up bandana while he was talking to someone for an extended period of time[1]. During one of these times, he was in a group with some of the other boys at the institution, including Wufei, Trowa, Quatre, and Heero. There was a woman leading the conversation and she had them all sit in a circle on these plastic chairs around the small room. Duo was seated almost in a corner of the room opposite the woman, Heero sat four chairs to his left, Wufei on Heero's left, Quatre on Duo's right, Trowa next to Quatre.  
  
Duo sat boredly, slouching in his seat and looked at the dark blue bandana and its little drop-shaped designs covering his eyes. He jumped when the woman suddenly addressed him. "Mr. Maxwell, will you please take that silly bandana off your eyes?"  
  
"No."  
  
"'No'? Well, why not?" she asked after his simple answer.  
  
"Because I really don't want to hallucinate." Duo was fully aware of several pairs of eyes on him. He shifted slightly under their gaze.  
  
She sighed. "Take the bandana off, Mr. Maxwell," she demanded sternly.  
  
"Alright, alright..." He muttered something like, "Keep your shirt on," under his breath. "But I blame you if anything happens." He reached up and flipped it off and into his lap. He was blinded for a moment from the sudden bright light and he blinked, opening his eyes wide.  
  
When his vision cleared, he hallucinated immediately: The woman sitting across from him was holding a severed head in her right hand, and a large, bloody knife in her other. She grinned a horrible grin with razor sharp teeth. She clenched her sharp teeth, causing them to cut into her gums and she bled freely. The boy on her right was slouched in his chair, his arms hanging limply on either side of the chair and his head was bent over the back so he would be looking at the wall upside down. But his head wasn't there. It was in the woman's hand. There was a puddle of blood growing under his chair.  
  
Duo saw this all in a split second before letting out a loud yelp and an involuntary body spasm from his legs sent him tumbling over his chair backwards. They all heard him hit his head on the wall that was so close behind his chair and stared as he didn't get back up.  
  
In reality, the woman was holding a clipboard in her right hand and a pencil in her left. The boy on her right was laying the same way as in the vision, but his head was attached to his body though Duo couldn't really see it since it really was bent over the back of his chair as he stared boredly at the upside down wall behind him.  
  
.......................................  
  
Duo slept in late the following morning. He woke with a start around noon. He soon found that he couldn't turn his head without sending terrible jolts of pain through his spine and branching out to the rest of him. He sat up slowly and groaned at the throbbing pain in his head. Wufei was not in the room, so he rose and dressed with slow, painful motions, wondering what had happened.   
  
He stumbled to the door and held onto the doorframe for support. He took a moment to compose himself enough so any who saw him wouldn't take much more notice of him than if a cloud had passed over the sun. He walked slowly and carefully down the hallway towards the - what he started to call - the "recreation room". There weren't any recreational activities, but it seemed to fit nonetheless.  
  
He didn't see Wufei, Trowa, or Quatre in the groups scattered around the room. But he did find Heero. Without really thinking about it, he made his way to Heero's table. He held onto the back of a chair and Heero looked up, a mild, cold expression on his face. "Do you mind if I sit with you?" Duo asked, again, without really thinking.  
  
Heero shrugged ever so slightly, so Duo pulled out the chair and sat down in it, putting his arms on the cool tabletop and resting his head on them. His eyes fluttered half-closed and he asked, "What happened?"  
  
Heero was watching him with mild interest and replied, "I wouldn't really expect you to remember, but you nearly broke your neck." His voice was stern and smooth. He spoke in a low monotone that would have lulled Duo to sleep had he not been talking about Duo breaking his neck.   
  
He groaned. "How'd I manage to do that?"  
  
Heero turned his eyes to the window he was always staring at. "You tripped backwards over your chair. You hit your head on the wall, knocking you unconscious, and your neck was bent the wrong way. That's all," he informed the braided boy indifferently. He sighed heavily and put his arms on the table and leaned forward on them as he intertwined his fingers loosely.   
  
Duo bent his head and yawned. "Then what?" he asked.  
  
"Then they took you to some kind of emergency room here and made sure you didn't have a concussion and didn't break anything. Apparently you didn't since they did send you back to your room to just sleep it off." He turned his eyes back to Duo's tired ones.  
  
Duo buried his face in his arms and made a muffled noise before leaning back into the chair. "It's not gone... It hurts like hell and they prob'ly can't give me anything for it." He licked his lips and put his hands behind the back of the chair, linked them, and stretched his arms, making his shoulders pop audibly. He sighed and slouched in the chair, staring at the table and completely unaware of Heero's steady gaze lingering on his face.  
  
"What made you trip over your chair?" Duo looked up tiredly at the question.  
  
"I don't really remember that well... I remember taking off my bandana, and then waking up with a killer headache." He pursed his lips in thought and his brow furrowed in concentration. "I guess it must've been pretty bad for a reaction like that..." he pointed out. Heero nodded. Duo sighed in frustration as the memory continuously failed to return to him. It was like having a word dance on the tip of your tongue, but it just won't come out.  
  
Then, realization dawned on Duo as he suddenly remembered. He told Heero and watched his reaction.   
  
Heero merely raised an eyebrow in a "I don't really care, but I'll humor you," kind of way. And his indifferent expression remained. "You really see things like that?"  
  
Duo nodded. "All the time." He decided not to mention that nothing ever happened to Heero when he looked at him. However, he continued to wonder why.  
  
.......................................  
  
"Speed." Heero's voice was so close to happy that Duo thought he might burst with pride.  
  
It was two days after Duo's little accident. He and Heero and been hanging out together more often since then. Duo hadn't gotten Heero to laugh yet, but he sensed it was close. Heero had just won for the third time in a row at the game Duo had taught him the previous day.  
  
Duo gathered the cards again. "You're too quick for me, Heero," he said, shaking his head in mock sadness. He shuffled the cards and started to deal again. Heero put his hand on the table.  
  
"Hang on a sec. Let me teach you one now." He gathered the cards the Duo dropped for him and started a game that Duo couldn't identify. "This is called Nertz," Heero informed him when he had set out the cards.  
  
.......................................  
  
The following day, Duo sat in Heero's room whilst they practiced Nertz. "I don't think I'll ever win this game," Duo laughed as Heero won. He slumped back in his chair and sighed.  
  
Heero smiled a little from his window seat. "It took a while for me to get it, too. I was worse than you are."  
  
Duo shook his head in wonder. "I can't believe that you were ever this bad. I refuse to believe that you were worse!" he cried.  
  
Heero shrugged. "Okay, whatever," he replied in a light tone.  
  
That was another thing Duo was proud of. Heero was starting to vary his tone of voice as well as show different emotions. It wasn't always the same monotone that would lull Duo to sleep anymore.  
  
Something suddenly occured to Duo. He bit the inside of his lower lip nervously before muttering, "Can I ask you a question, Heero?"  
  
Said boy quirked an eyebrow at his serious tone. "Sure." His voice went back to normal.  
  
Duo remained silent for a few moments while he searched for a way to bring this up without sounding stupid. "Well, y'know... You're not exactly made of tissue paper... You're more like Shaft over here, okay, pal?" Duo blushed. 'Well so much for not sounding stupid,' he thought. "It's just that... Well..."  
  
Heero lifted his eyebrows in curiosity. "Out of what you've said, I understood that you're saying I'm not weak. So what?" he asked. He wondered where Duo might be going with this.  
  
Duo sighed. He didn't understand why this was so difficult for him. "Ok, what I'm trying to say is..." He lifted his gaze to Heero. "If you really wanted to... You COULD kill yourself, couldn't you?"  
  
Heero's expression grew solemn and defensive. "Of course I could. Anyone could if they did it right." He spoke slowly and quietly.  
  
Duo nodded quickly. "Yea, you're right, I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again." His words tumbled out of his mouth so fast that Heero almost didn't understand. He stood up abruptly and, avoiding eye contact with Heero, shuffled out of the room and down the hall.  
  
Heero sighed and rolled his eyes. He leaned back against the wall and stared out the window with that far-off look in his eyes again. He watched the wind stirring the leaves on the trees outside his window as he thought about what Duo might have been trying to say underneath what had come out of his mouth.  
  
As much as he tried, he could not take his mind off of one underlying message that he had interpreted. Duo really, truly cared if Heero died. He sighed and closed his eyes. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He let his hands dangle limply in the air between them and he hung his head low.   
  
He hoped that Duo didn't care for him as much as he seemed to. After all, he couldn't always promise that he'd be there to see Duo in the morning...  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
[1] - I know this bandana would probably not be allowed cuz it might end up being dangerous, but it's that whole freedom thing that I needed in order to do this chapter how I wanted.  
  
Ok, sorry for the long wait, I just got a major writers block and it didn't go away for about the next week. I've just been too lazy to write out stuff lately. Been kinda busy lately, too.  
  
More stuff that's just useless info for your brains: The patients can be in each others' rooms if the door is open. And as for the card games... What can I say? I like card games! And I don't think they'd be allowed to have much else... (BTW, Nertz is a game that my sister taught... er... attempted to teach me. I'm fairly sure it's done with two packs of cards, but I can't remember. It was so hard! I couldn't understand it - And of course, I couldn't win. But yea, I just figured Heero's a smart guy... my sister's smart too. I'm not exactly smart when it comes to that, and neither was Duo! Hehe... Ok, done ranting about that now...)  
  
Y'know what's sad? I can just look around the room and see about a thousand different ways I could kill myself... Not that I'd want to, but it seems to me that teenagers are smarter than adults (or children for that matter) when it comes to suicide and homicide. Ok, that was kinda random... But that's ok! I'm done now...  
  
Arigatos:  
  
my-parents-wors-nightmar - Heh... Thanks, but I just hope I CAN keep it up... I don't feel like my writing was very good in this one.  
  
Blah - Gah! I'm sorry! ::whimper::  
  
Ed - The details were more evenly spread out? I reeeeeally don't think this chapter turned out as well as the last one... Details... meh...  
  
li-chan - Lol, thanks! Onegai... I feel like I should know what that means... But the sentence pretty much explains it, ne? Lol!  
  
Regina - Really? You read them? You didn't even review! ::cries:: ::stops:: Ok, I'm over it. Yayfulness... I'm intriguing, cool...   
  
Shinigami's-Girl - Awesome, glad you like it!  
  
kuroi gami - You mean it? Awww! ::cries:: I feel so special!  
  
Jade Crescent - Lol! My friend who went there said it was pretty fun, too. Except the food and the watching and the boredom and a lot of other stuff... She said the other kids there were cool. I like to talk to myself like Quatre... Especially when I'm playing games. It's fun!  
  
Duo's Brother - Uhhhhh... ::blush:: I'm wondering if you're a guy... The whole Duo's BROTHER thing... Most guys I know don't like yaoi, and I didn't mention it in the first chapter or the summary. GOMEN NASAIIII!!!!!! But I did get my friend who didn't like yaoi to like it! She read my first story and I got her to like it! Woot! ::cough:: Ok, gomen...  
  
Crysania Fay - Well... it was... soon enough! At least I didn't wait for three months to update like some authors I know... ::growls at them::  
  
kaori-chan - Um... Well, I guess all I can say is I hope you liked it! I hope everyone liked it, but yea.  
  
Angel Reid - Lol! Sounds like fun, I wouldn't want to see what Duo sees... That would drive me over the edge...   
  
B.U.G.I.M.S. - Lol, I'm sorry if you have nightmares! I hate nightmares... They usually mean something bad for me... ::sweatdrop:: And I find myself wondering what your penname means..... um... Unless it's just random letters... ::shrugs:: Oh well.  
  
Nyxity - Lol! Lots of people say that MIs are fun... I wouldn't know... I like your penname!  
  
Hazel-Beka - Eew! I hate spiders!!!!!! ::shudders violently:: Um... yea, the whole thing with Duo seeing nothing happen to Heero is with that whole yaoi thing I left out in the summary and the first chapter... GOMEN NASAIIII!!!! But I did make my best friend (who didn't like yaoi) like yaoi cuz I made her read my first fanfic. Funfulness... Lol! You do that...   
  
Kage Kitsune - Child's play? Well I feel special now... ::cries:: What if this turns out horribly? What if it sucks royally?! Huh? HUH?!?! ::coughs:: Erm... gomen...  
  
nekomoongirl - Heh... Yes, bad Heero... But yea, I thought he should be special like that... yay...  
  
What's with all the people being a complimentary?! Not that I mind... But it's just... I didn't think so many ppl would actually say what they did... Coolie!   
  
Ok, that was fun! And I apologize for the whole thing about not mentioning yaoi... I was just so used to people on my other fics knowing that it was yaoi that I didn't even think about it! But (as I told some people in Arigatos) I did get my friend who didn't like yaoi into it. She reads my fics now and enjoys the yaoi goodness!!!!  
  
Now, review again! Even if you've reviewed once already, my regular readers know that I like to have opinions about every chapter that I write! It helps! Doumo Arigatou Gozaimashita!!! 


	3. The Worst Has Yet to Come

Hey guys... Again, Sorry for the lateness... I hit another writer's block. And unfortunately, I realized that this fic is not going to be very long. That is, unless I can think of some other things than what I'm planning on writing. But another thing I realized, was that I don't know how this is going to end. Y'know how the title is Lifting Curses & Mending Broken Wings? Yea, well, I don't know how I'm going to have the curse "lifted" or how the wings are going to be "mended" if they even are... Or perhaps I will be able to think of nothing and the title is going to be incredibly misleading, if you know what I mean. ::evil laughter::   
  
Disclaimers: See first chapter (these are going to stop...)  
  
Warnings: Gore, as always. But I haven't written this chapter out yet, but I know what's going to happen. I'm not sure if the gory stuff is going to come up in this. But then again... If I end it where I really want to, it'll be incredibly short... Damn, this sucks. Ok, I won't end it where I really want to, but then I won't say all the gory stuff because what I imagined is really too horrible to put into words - in my opinion... I really don't want to write out what I made up... It might give me nightmares. ANYWAY! Gomen... As always, Yaoi... See previous chapters...   
  
I'll continue that rant in Warnings about the gory, evil things that I don't want to put down for yours and my sakes... ::shudders::  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings  
  
Chapter 3: The Worst Has Yet to Come  
  
It started out as an ordinary day... It was three days after Duo's little "underlying message" talk with Heero. Duo was strolling down the hallway towards Heero's room for a visit. He had no idea where this visit might land him...  
  
He turned at Heero's open door with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step. But what he saw made him stop dead and the smile faded rapidly from his face. Heero was sitting on the window seat with his left leg tucked under him and his right was just hanging off the side, his tip-toe touching the blue carpeting. His arms were folded on the windowsill and his chin rested on them. His eyes were closed peacefully and the sun shone in through the window and bathed him in yellow-golden light. He seemed to glow in the glittering beam that engulfed him.   
  
But this was not what made Duo halt in horror. Sprouting from Heero's shoulderblades were a pair of white feather wings. They rose up from his back in a graceful arc to a point that was a few inches above Heero's head, then they bent back down in that beautiful curve down to where Heero's knees would be if he were standing. There, they stopped abruptly. Here, at the end of his wings, they were broken and tattered and covered with his blood.  
  
Duo stumbled back against the far wall, his eyes wide and shimmering. "Oh, Heero..." he groaned. This was just loud enough for Heero to hear and he looked up questioningly at his braided friend across the short hall from his door. Heero's confusion increased when Duo turned and ran, full speed, back down the hall from which he had come.   
  
When Heero rose and walked briskly to his door and looked down the hall where Duo had run, the guards who stood along the hallways had gotten ahold of him. He saw Duo being held by the arms by two men in white. He lunged forward in hopes of freeing himself continuously, but to no avail. He started screaming at them to let him go as he now jerked backwards as well as forwards. His cries were soon drowned out by his captors yelling at others to fetch assistance.   
  
One woman in white who stood by, watching anxiously turned to Heero. Their eyes met for a moment. Heero shrugged at the silent question that stood out in her eyes. Duo's frantic screaming and lunging made Heero turn his gaze back to him. He silently willed for Duo to stop. He knew what happened to people who acted like that...  
  
.......................................  
  
Duo hadn't stopped.  
  
He now was sedated and was watching his new room swirl dizzyingly. It wasn't long before he was asleep.   
  
His alarming actions had caused the people in white to move him into his own cell kind of room. It sure seemed like a cell. The door was made of thick, gray metal and there was only a small window in it. Inside the closet-sized room there was a bed that was connected to the wall and stood about a foot off the tiled floor. There was nothing else in the room. Except a camera in the corner above the door.  
  
.......................................  
  
After a few hours, Duo finally awoke. It was the middle of the night, though he had no way of knowing it. He was in a set of blue clothes provided for him now that he was in this particular section of the MI. He gazed groggily up at the long, narrow lightbulb that was built into the ceiling.  
  
"What the bloody hell...?" he murmured. He sat up and realized that he was on a bed. A fairly uncomfortable one, at that. He held his head in his hands and closed his eyes tightly. He froze as everything came back in a flash. Again, he saw Heero with his broken wings and he remembered running down the hallway... And everything up until they poked his arm with a needle...  
  
As he thought of Heero, he noticed that the light above him was flickering and turned from a bright white to a dull yellow color. His eyes widened. "Oh, no..." he whispered aloud. It didn't take a genius to understand where this was leading to.   
  
His body began to shake with fear of the dark. He hated the dark. He hated being alone in the dark in a strange place. He whimpered and continued to watch the light.   
  
He opened his mouth and let out a long, loud, ear-piercing, nigh glass-shattering scream as it flickered out. The people in white were at his cell within the next ten seconds. They shouted at each other, telling them to unlock the cell and to retrieve some "materials".  
  
They hauled Duo out of his (lit) cell by his arms. The two men holding him grunted with the effort of keeping him still. He struggled and lunged and shrieked endlessly. His eyes, which were previously shut tight, snapped open wide. White showed all around the iris of his eyes and his pupils were dialated so his normally amethyst eyes were nearly black. He truly looked mad.  
  
He then broke down crying. Through his tears, he gazed up at the men holding him and quietly asked to see Heero. His black eyes caused them to look away with chills coursing up and down their spines. They both shook their heads. "Please!" he cried frantically, "You've got to let me see him!! If I see he's safe, I'll be ok! I promise! Please!!" He panted and lowered his head so his chin nearly touched his chest and cried, spilling his tears onto the gray tile. He started shaking again.  
  
But as he looked down at the floor, he didn't see a watching man in white mutter to another to fetch the boy whom Duo had previously requested to see.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
He looked up quickly, his eyes had still not returned to normal and made Heero shudder. His eyes shimmered with fresh tears and the two men holding his arms reluctantly and slowly released him. Heero watched Duo as he took a shaky step towards him. Then another. He wrapped his arms around himself as he slowly went to Heero.  
  
Heero had to catch him and kneel next to him when Duo's uneasy legs decided they couldn't support his weight anymore. Heero saw the two men jerk forward as if to restrain him again, but Heero had caught him first, so they backed off again. "Duo, what happened?" he murmured to the shaking boy in his arms.   
  
He didn't reply, only took in shaky breaths and released them heavily.  
  
"Duo... Tell me what happened."  
  
He shook his head. "I can't, Heero... It hurts too much..." he replied weakly. He leaned into Heero's arms and closed his eyes.  
  
"Did you see something?" Heero asked him, already knowing the answer.  
  
Duo nodded.  
  
"What was it about? Who was in it?"  
  
"You... You were... The light went out and I saw it." Duo was still quivering slightly, as though he were cold.  
  
Heero looked up at the cell whose door stood wide open. The light was on. He shook his head and closed his eyes. "Don't worry, Duo. It's gonna be ok." He watched the two men come toward Duo again. They had heard Duo say the light went out and both saw that it was not.  
  
Duo began to panic as soon as they got his arms in their hands. He knew that they thought he was a lunatic and he didn't want to leave Heero. He saw clearly that he was safe, but what he saw in that cell was driving him crazy... Heero-crazy.  
  
Heero saw that Duo was panicking again and he asked the men to hold on a minute. Duo looked up at them as they shook their heads and the one holding his right arm said, "This boy needs help ASAP." Heero didn't respond.  
  
Duo shook his head. "No... No, Heero!" He turned back to Heero and started struggling again. "Heero, you know I'm not crazy!" he screeched as he lunged and jerked, trying futilely to free himself as he had before. "Heero! Tell them I'm not crazy!"   
  
The two men started to haul him off down the hallway.  
  
"I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!" Duo screamed while disappearing around a corner. The last syllable of his sentence echoed and Heero hung his head. He feared that if Duo continued to act this way, they would never see each other again. He wrapped his arms around himself as he was escorted back to his room where his roommate still slept.  
  
He was left there as the employees shut his door behind him and departed down the long, gray hall. He strode silently to his bed where, tucked away in a hidden crook on the bottom of his bedframe, a very small pocketknife was stored. He had smuggled it in when he had first come. It had been sitting there, unused and collecting dust since that day. He really only did anything to himself when he was severely depressed or overwhelmed or worried.  
  
And right now... He was worried.   
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
Alrighty then... Just a few notes for you about this chapter.  
  
As you probably noticed... Duo's medication hasn't started working yet. Just... Thought I'd like to point that out... And if you didn't notice... This was the first time Duo had spoken during one of his hallucinations (he said Heero's name...). Since you haven't been with him for the past two years it's been going on, you wouldn't know that he never speaks when hallucinating, only after.  
  
And the reason I pointed out that Heero's wings only would go down to his knees if he were standing up was because I always imagine wings to be as high as a few inches above the person's head (when they're not outstretched) and they curve down to the tips which brush the ground when the person is standing. In short, they're BIG. Because since anything besides birds and bats don't have hollow bones so they can fly, it would make sense to have the wings be huge and powerful to lift up whatever it is that unnaturally has wings.  
  
If you didn't notice, the light in Duo's cell was shining brightly the whole time. Duo hallucinated it going out. He also hallucinated about Heero right after the light "went out". But like I said before, I didn't want to write it out... It would give me nightmares. I'm not positively sure about what exactly he saw about Heero, but just know that it was horrible and would probably drive someone who didn't hallucinate mad. And just meaningless FYI: Duo's "cell" was pretty much based off of that one girl's cell in Gothika... Phoebe... Sophie... Um... I can't remember her name, but she was the one with the cool accent who Dr. Grey (Gray?) was talking to in the beginning. The cell with the little plus sign-shaped window in the door... Yea, you get the point...  
  
BTW, sorry for the shortness of this chapter.  
  
Arigatos:  
  
nekomoongirl - This one really has no point... But yes, Heero is VERY special... hehe...  
  
Bunch-o-Nuts - Cool, hope this chapter was satisfactory!  
  
B.U.G.I.M.S. - Astounding? Erm... Well, thanks, but I really don't think it was THAT good... ::cough cough:: And I don't know if you can find how to play Nertz... But ok, whatever floats your boat! Hm... Interesting name...  
  
Angel Reid - Really? Did I? I didn't know how the MI would turn out since I've never been to, nor seen one.  
  
Nikkler - ::sweatdrop:: Erm... I'm afraid I can't promise what you asked... But as for hinting toward why Duo doesn't see stuff happen to Heero... Well, that will come in time. ::grin::  
  
Hazel-Beka - "Hikari"? WTF is that? I feel like I should know... Oh well! BTW, you should continue to read this fic so I can persuade you into liking yaoi, too! Just like my friend! Well, that is, if you weren't planning on reading it all the way thru already... ::clears throat:: Yea...  
  
heather - Arigato gozaimas for all the advice! I'll look back on that sometimes, definitely. And as for the bars on the windows... That's what my best friend had when she went not too long ago... So yea... Lol, solitary dragon ::giggles:: That's highly amusing for some reason.  
  
crazy-lil-nae-nae - Hey! I thought I lost you! It seems like you haven't been around lately... Or maybe you have and I'm just on crack... Which is entirely possible. Lol, arigato!  
  
Dragen Eyes - Yea... They did kinda... Disappear, didn't they? Oh well, they're still there and alive! They're just not quite as important... ::coughs:: erm... yea... Sorry about that!  
  
Nyxity - Hey! I like Enya, thank you very much! lol! ::sweatdrop:: I didn't think anything... strange when you said "hot seat"... I'm not THAT perverted... ::mutter, mutter:: ::laughs hysterically:: Yea, I could just see Fei saying something like that. Though maybe not QUITE like that... I don't imagine him (or any of them) as people who say "yo" and "man"... I don't know why, but I think of them as more... "sophisticated" - so to speak - than normal teenagers. Anyway - Arigato gozaimas for the advice!  
  
Regina - Number 1: I love foreboding last lines ::evil grin:: Number 2: I think what Duo saw in his cell MIGHT have grossed you out a little... Maybe ::shrugs:: And Number 3: Not that it matters, but I don't really consider Hee-chan a bishie... ::shrugs again:: Maybe it just depends on your definition, ne? (BTW, I have no idea why I was talking in "numbers"... Gomen)  
  
my-parents-worst-nightmar - Cool... school was out for me, like... A month ago ::nods:: Lol! Arigato!  
  
Jade Crescent - Ah, yes... Things that you can hide OTHER things in is bad... ::makes mental note of that:: Awesome, thanks for your help! I don't think I'll be asking much about it, but just let me know if there's something I did incredibly wrong.  
  
ALL DONE! And just so you know... I got into this weird "moment" when I wrote this chapter and the first chapter (not the second... that one sucked XP) and this "moment" doesn't happen very often, but when it does, I really feel like writing and when I do, it usually turns out wonderfully. And when these moments come, I get all my best ideas and I'll write them out. So that's usually why I wait so long to update. I'm waiting for one of my moments. But if none come (like last time), I'll just kinda... force myself to update whether I have good ideas or not. 


	4. Understanding is the Key

Alrighty then... Chapter four... I don't really know exactly what's going in here. I only updated a week ago... Oh well. I'm watchin' Yu-Gi-Oh with my brother... I don't really pay attention to the storyline, tho. I like to watch Yugi change into Yami and at times... if dressed right... Yami is pretty sexy ::laughs:: I actually think the same thing of Link from Zelda... In this one booklet that came with the Nintendo game he looks a lot like Duo when he's a kid! It's so kawaiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!! And adult Link in that booklet is awesome... hehehe... I'm listening to Meteora, too. I'm seeking songs that may possibly end up in this story.  
  
Anyway... The song is Nobody's Listening by Linkin' Park. It doesn't really fit as well as some of my previous songs in different fics, but I just thought that some things were good for this chapter. The other song is Don't Stay by Linkin' Park  
  
Warnings: (all the usual: yaoi, gore)  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings  
  
Chapter 4: Understanding is the Key  
  
:: Yo, peep the style and the kids checkin' for it : The number one question is "How could you ignore it?" : And drop right back in the cut : Over basement tracks and rap stack got you backin' us up : Like... Rewind that! : We're just rollin' with the rhythm : Rise from the ashes of stylist division : With these non-stop lyrics and life livin' : Not to be forgotten but still unforgiven : But in the meantime, there are those : Who wanna talk this and that, so I suppose : That it gets to a point where feelings gotta get hurt : And get dirty with the people spreadin' the dirt. It goes... :  
  
Duo sat in his cell room but this time in a straightjacket. His arms were cramping as he sat in the corner on his bed, staring down at his white sheets. He sighed heavily. He was sedated again, but this time he didn't fall asleep. He had too much on his mind.  
  
: Tried to give you warning, but everyone ignores me : Told you everything loud and clear : But nobody's listening : Called to you so clearly, but you don't want to hear me : Told you everything loud and clear : But nobody's listening :  
  
Duo shifted so his legs were folded under him. His movements were slow and sluggish. His limbs felt as though they were filled with lead. Meanwhile, those annoying people in white were watching, bewildered, behind the camera in the corner of Duo's ceiling. They murmured about Duo's ability to stay awake with the sedation that was running through his veins.  
  
: I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress : Handful of anger, Held in my chest : And everything left's a waste of time : I hate my rhymes, but hate everyone else's more : I'm riding on the back of this pressure : Guessin' that it's better, I can't keep myself together : Because all of this stress gave me something to write on : The pain gave me something I could set my sights on : Never forget the blood, sweat, and tears : The uphill struggle over years, the fear and : Trash talking and the people it was to : And the people that started it, just like you :  
  
Duo shut his eyes tightly, trying to will away the drugged, forced sleep that threatened to overwhelm his body. He opened them again and shifted into a more uncomfortable position. But in doing so, he twisted his right leg under his body, sending a jolt of pain through his lower body. That lightning hot pain woke him up fairly well and he groaned impatiently. The drug was affecting his thinking ability and his thoughts kept becoming muddled.  
  
'I have to convince them to let me go back...' he would think at one point and then his thoughts would randomly go fuzzy. Trying to force these fuzzy thoughts away, he would wonder how. 'How am I going to get them to let me out... out... of here...?' It was always at the end that it would go hazy and unclear. He sighed again. He started to think that it might be a good idea to just go to sleep. They would think him normal if he reacted the right way to the drugs.   
  
'Yes...' he thought, letting his weighted eyelids flutter closed. 'I'll do this tomor... Ugh... In the morning.' They wouldn't believe his so-called "rantings" about what he saw and how he had reacted made him lose touch with reality for a little while. This was not a good sign in their eyes. They merely saw him as a crazy adolescent even when he passionately denied it.  
  
: Tried to give you warning, but everyone ignores me : Told you everything loud and clear : But nobody's listening : Called to you so clearly, but you don't want to hear me : Told you everything loud and clear : But nobody's listening :  
  
He tried to tell them what he saw, but he would just start crying again and see something else when they didn't believe him. Well, they said they believed him... But it was painfully obvious that they didn't mean a word of it. If they truly believed him, they would know how to help him and wouldn't stress him out about his "condition".  
  
: I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress : Handful of anger, Held in my chest : Uphill struggle, blood, sweat, and tears : Nothing to gain, everything to fear : Heart full of pain, head full of stress : Handful of anger, Held in my chest : Uphill struggle, blood, sweat, and tears : Nothing to gain, everything to fear : Heart full of pain... :  
  
Duo's head ached and his leg throbbed as he drifted quickly to sleep. There was a tight band around his chest that was robbing him of air. Even in this state, the band would not loosen. And even though his sleep was deep, it was immensely troubled. Duo dreamed of Heero and his wings. His broken wings which filled him with pain each time he thought of them. He once again saw what he had previously seen in his cell. He was subconsciously expecting it, so it really didn't affect him more than a low groan and a forced look away.  
  
: Tried to give you warning, but everyone ignores me : Told you everything loud and clear : But nobody's listening : Called to you so clearly, but you don't want to hear me : Told you everything loud and clear : But nobody's listening :  
  
Once again, the people behind the camera watching Duo were ultimately confused. First, this neurotic teen had held off falling asleep for more than half an hour. Then he had then managed to fall into a light enough sleep to dream. This sedative was well known for its efficiency and ability to launch the one drugged into such a deep sleep that no dream could reach them. Dreams were sometimes bad things for MI patients. They could arouse some horrible thoughts and cause the patient's rehabilitation process thus far to falter and perhaps regress.  
  
But Duo's dreaming now was beyond their control. For the moment.  
  
: I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress : Nobody's listening : Handful of anger, Held in my chest : Nobody's listening : Uphill struggle, blood, sweat, and tears : Nobody's listening : Nothing to gain, everything to fear : Nobody's listening ::  
  
.......................................  
  
Duo smiled slightly and rubbed his arms where the straightjacket had cramped them up. He winced a little as they started to loosen up. He nodded to himself and watched the people in white motion for him to go back into the cell.  
  
He shifted his eyes to the floor and kept the mellow look he'd plastered on when they came so they wouldn't suspect anything. "Um... If it's all the same to you..." he began, wondering if his plan would work or fail miserably. "I'd like to go back to my other room, if that's all right." He looked up hopefully at the three people in front of him. He could see more out of the corner of his eye, but he figured these three would suffice.  
  
The man in the middle sighed and placed his hands on his hips. "I'll tell you what - You stay in here for a little longer while we talk about that and decide on an answer to your request with people who know more about your current condition. We'll come back as soon as we can to let you know." He smiled kindly and nodded towards the cell, indicating that Duo should do as he said.  
  
Duo forced a small smile back. "Thanks," he muttered and trudged into the gray room. He heard the door close and lock behind him and sighed. He sat down on the bed and looked up at the camera that was "hidden" in the corner. He shook his head and leaned back against the wall and pulled his legs up onto the bed.  
  
And here he waited.  
  
.......................................  
  
The guard came back roughly an hour later. There was no clock or anything in his room, so he had no way of knowing for sure how long it had been. When he arrived, he unlocked Duo's cell with a smile on his face. Duo stood in front of the door when he heard the lock click. The man nodded and answered Duo's silent question, "Your request has been accepted. You can go back to your regular room if you wish."  
  
Duo beamed. He thanked the man and was escorted to his room by him. He wanted to see if Wufei was there, but he wasn't. The man left and Duo went to the recreation room. He found Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa there. They were lounging and talking and as Duo approached, Wufei nearly fell out of his chair.  
  
Laughing, Duo took a seat next to him. "Hey, guys. How've ya been?" he asked happily.  
  
Quatre avoided eye contact with Duo and muttered a "Fine..." while Trowa shrugged. Wufei stared at Duo in disbelief and didn't answer.  
  
"So, um... Where's Heero?" Duo tried not to sound too urgent. He just wanted to see Heero safe (again) after his hallucination. He grew confused and a bit worried when no one would answer nor look him in the eye. "What? Where is he? He's ok, isn't he?"  
  
Wufei sighed and decided not to ask about Duo's little trip to the other section of the institution. "He's fine, but it's just that he hasn't come out of his room since the night after you were transferred to the other side of the building." Wufei's euphemism was clear enough.   
  
That night he spoke of was only the night before last. Duo had been in that straightjacket and was kept sedated for the next day and night after seeing Heero.  
  
Wufei rubbed his forehead. "Well, he DID come out, but you know... Just for things he had to. Meetings, meals, and whatever else. He hasn't said anything to us, either."  
  
"How do you know he hasn't come out otherwise?" Duo wondered aloud.  
  
Wufei nodded to Quatre. "He's Heero's roomie." The nervous blonde nodded in confirmation.  
  
"Well... Have any of you been to see him or anything?" Duo wanted to know. On seeing all three of them shake their heads, he stood and walked briskly from the room toward Heero's and Quatre's room.  
  
Arriving there, he hesitated before knocking on the closed door. He didn't hear an answer, but the room doors can't lock from the inside, so he opened the door slowly. "Heero?" he called in softly. He looked around the small room. The two beds were made and the place was surprisingly cleaner than Duo's and Wufei's room. Duo peered around again as he stepped into the middle of the room. He then noticed the bathroom door was only slightly ajar.  
  
"Heero?" he called again. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. 'What if something happened to him? What if he did something to himself?!' he thought with rapidly growing panic. He dreaded to look inside. He reached out his hand and pushed the door, making it swing open slowly. He braced himself and stepped in.  
  
He sighed in relief when he saw Heero merely sitting in a corner of the tiled room staring coldly at something in his hand. He glanced up when Duo came in and stuffed the something into his pocket. He didn't stand or even greet Duo. He only seemed mildly relieved to see him.  
  
Duo wet his lips and smiled a little. "Hi, Heero."  
  
Heero looked down to his left, his expression cold and uninviting. Duo had never known Heero to avoid eye contact with anyone before. He sighed and shifted his weight onto his other foot.  
  
"Heero... Why won't you say anything? What's the matter?" he asked slowly.  
  
Heero randomly shivered and wrapped his arms loosely around himself. Duo stepped forward experimentally. Heero, in truth, wasn't exactly thrilled to see his braided "friend". He had yet to figure out why, but he felt betrayed. Ultimately betrayed. He was so angry at Duo for seemingly no reason at all. "It's nothing, Duo," he growled, not looking up.  
  
:: Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe : Sometimes I need you to stay away from me : Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know : Somehow I need you to go :  
  
Duo swallowed and looked down too. "Did I do something to upset you?" he asked timidly.  
  
Heero sighed slowly and shook his head. "What made you freak out that day?" he inquired vaguely. He assumed Duo would know what he was talking about. He finally raised his ice cold gaze to Duo's eyes.  
  
: Don't stay : Forget our memories : Forget our possibilities : What you were changing me into : Just give me myself back and : Don't stay : Forget our memories : Forget our possibilities : Take all your faithlessness with you : Just give me myself back and : Don't stay :  
  
Duo groaned a little. "Do we really have to talk about that?" he whined.  
  
Heero narrowed his eyes. "Yes, I want to know." He noticed Duo flinch back at his tone. He was suddenly fully aware of the pocketknife pressing against his right hip.  
  
: Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well : Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself : Sometimes I'm in disbelief, I didn't know : Somehow I need to be alone :  
  
Shaking his head, Duo sighed and began weakly, "I just saw something that scared me, that's all..." He looked up at Heero hoping that that explanation was enough. Heero continued to stare somewhat expectantly at him, so he continued with another sigh, "When you were sitting there in the sun that day... I... I-" He shut his eyes and shook his head furiously. "Your wings - they were broken and it upset me so I ran away," he finished quickly, staring at the tiles beside his left foot. "That's what it was... Your broken wings..."  
  
: Don't stay : Forget our memories : Forget our possibilities : What you were changing me into : Just give me myself back and : Don't stay : Forget our memories : Forget our possibilities : Take all your faithlessness with you : Just give me myself back and : Don't stay :  
  
Heero surpressed a growl. "You should be used to your hallucinations by now - Didn't you realize that it was just another figment of your imagination?" he lashed. Verbal abuse was Heero's specialty. "Why would you see me with wings, anyway?"  
  
"Why do I see any of it, Heero?!" Duo snapped back. "I don't choose what I see - It just happens! How am I supposed to control it? You seem to know, so please tell me!" he raged on.   
  
: I don't need you anymore, don't want to be ignored : I don't need one more day, of you wasting me away : I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored : I don't need one more day, of you wasting me away : With no apologies :  
  
Heero stood swiftly and glared daggers at Duo. "You know perfectly well that I understand you can't control your hallucinations-"  
  
"Then why are you all up in my face about it?! You can tell me that, can't you?!" Duo clenched his fists in fury and glared back at Heero. But before he could answer, Duo continued, "Why are you so angry at me? What did I do? I called for you in the middle of the night last time I saw you - Did I offend you in some way? I hear you haven't been out of your room or spoken to anyone since that day. Heero, please tell me what I did wrong! I can't fix it if I don't know what it is!"  
  
: Don't stay : Forget our memories : Forget our possibilities : What you were changing me into : Just give me myself back and : Don't stay : Forget our memories : Forget our possibilities : Take all your faithlessness with you : Just give me myself back and : Don't stay : Don't stay : Don't stay ::  
  
"Duo!" Heero stopped him. "You didn't offend me - I know you had a hallucination in the middle of the night and you just needed comforting, so I tried to help. You didn't do anything that I wouldn't do in your place. And if you really need to know why I'm so upset with you - I was worried about you, ok? I thought something bad was going to happen to you." He paused.  
  
Duo's eyes softened. "Why did that upset you?"  
  
"Because I've never worried about anyone like that and I got confused. I didn't want to because that's gotten me into trouble before so I got upset with you. It's because you've become my friend that I worried about you, but I hate where worrying has brought me in the past. I blamed you for it." Heero sighed heavily and leaned into the corner of the room. "Worry is part of what got me here."  
  
"What d'you mean?" Duo stepped forward again.  
  
"You know what I'm here for."  
  
Duo nodded and crossed the room to stand in front of Heero. He slowly reached out and took Heero's left arm and turned it so his wrist was visible. He could feel that Heero was very tense and obviously disliked showing his forearms to others.  
  
"Oh, Heero... How can you do this?" Duo asked on seeing the slightly redder lines that tallied his arm in long, wide strips. The top and most obvious one was at a diagonal from the base of his thumb crossing the blue-tinted lines beneath his skin in three places.  
  
Heero sighed impatiently. "Don't ask - I hate it when people ask me that."  
  
"Do you have an answer to it?"  
  
Heero nodded. "Of course, but even if I tell those who ask, they don't understand. Nobody understands how this is beneficial to me. They don't understand that when I cut, I don't mean to kill..." he trailed off.  
  
"Then what DO you mean to do?" Duo placed his palm over Heero's wrist and held it loosely in his fingers.  
  
Heero looked down somewhat guiltily and muttered, "Bleed."  
  
Duo's solemn and sympathetic expression was what made Heero feel guilty for being what he was. Duo looked down at his pocket where the bulge of the pocketknife was visible. Duo pointed to it, almost touched it, but didn't and asked, "Is that what I think it is?"  
  
"If you think it's a pocketknife, then yes, it is," Heero confirmed. Duo nodded. "But just because I had it doesn't mean I used it, just so you know."  
  
Duo smiled slightly. "Good, because I'd hate to know that you did something like this on my account," he told him, tracing one of his scars.  
  
Heero shook his head. "I may not have any physical marks caused by you, but emotionally, you tore me apart. You really scared me when I came to see you in the middle of the night. They took you away down the hall and I thought I'd never see you again."  
  
"Ah, but what they don't know is that I have them fooled. I should probably still be in that hellhole of a room, but little do they know that I've just been messing with their heads to make them think I'm ok." Duo smiled sadly. "I'm not ok, they just don't see it. Nobody really does."  
  
"You hide it well," Heero pointed out. "Even I can't see what's behind your mask. But sometimes I wish I could. It's not a good thing to keep yourself locked away like that."  
  
"But it can be. For instance - I would still be back in that cell if I hadn't hidden my hysteria away. If I wasn't so determined to stay out of there, I would probably have a nervous breakdown." Duo released Heero's wrist and turned away. "So in that way, you and I are very much alike," he continued, walking slowly across the room towards the door. "Nobody understands us." He stopped at the door and turned back. "Maybe if we're lucky, we'll start to understand each other to make up for it." He smiled and was gone.  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
Yea, this chapter didn't turn out so hot... Oh well... I suppose that's just how it gets when I force an update out of myself. The bathroom scene was playing out weird in my head and then I needed Heero to get mad and then I needed a REASON for him to get mad... Ack... it was evil.  
  
Alright, Heero did not do anything to himself in case you didn't catch that. And I know the last part of this chapter (mostly what Heero says) was cheesy and sappy and not very good, but deal.  
  
BTW, I was comparing Heero to myself and I know I hate it when people ask me why I cut and everything... I kinda seemed to fit Heero's part in this.  
  
It was kinda funny... Last week when I was reading the last chapter of this story, I was listening to "Unwell" by Matchbox 20, right? Yea, so y'know how the song goes "But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell..." Yea - Right when I read the part where Duo screamed "I'M NOT CRAZY!!!" The song said "I'm not crazy". I laughed for a long time... It was highly amusing...  
  
And Duo is how I see him. I see him as the comic relief - He's there for everyone's amusement, but he doesn't feel so great emotionally. He could have a nervous breakdown if he didn't always want to be the carefree, nothing-can-hurt-me person that I see him as. It's kinda like my poem "My Barrier" the last verse goes like this:  
  
"And if I seem full of life  
  
I'm lying  
  
You can sometimes see it in my eyes  
  
That inside  
  
I'm dying"  
  
I didn't actually mean for that to rhyme... ::sweatdrop:: Anyway! Let's wrap this up, shall we? (I forgot what else I wanted to say, anyway...)  
  
Arigatos:  
  
Shinigami's-Girl - Funfulness... this wasn't really a reply, was it? Heh... Gomen.  
  
Butterfly Hikaru - Moo-haha! He did NOTHING! Hehehehehe.... Aishiteru! ::muah!::  
  
nekomoongirl - Yissssssssss!!!!!!!!! Poor boys... I feel bad for 'em sometimes... sometimes...  
  
kaori-chan - Yep... not soon... but here... Stuff...  
  
Nyxity - Lol, yea, no privacy! Poor boys. Hm... speak in your sleep? Fun... hehehehe....  
  
my-parents-worst-nightmar - Hehehe... Um... Duo is "ok" but yea... Disturbing moment, huh? I get those a lot.  
  
scrtshdfgry (::quirks an eyebrow:: whateva...) - Yea, thanks... ::still wondering about "scrtshdfgry"::  
  
Regina - NO FOREBODING LAST LINE!!!!! Must go back and do it over so there is a foreboding last line!!!!!!! Nah... too much work ::shrugs:: I didn't have my moment... this chapter sucked. Yea, I wasn't gonna have everyone murder me for having Heero... die... ::cough cough::   
  
Nikkler - Fuuuuun... I'm not sayin' much in these...  
  
Hazel-Beka - Yea, "hikari" "yami" gotcha... I like Yu-Gi-Oh ::grins:: I don't follow the storyline, but I watch anyway... And, yes, I do know that it gets addictive... ::cough::  
  
Angel Reid - Yes, I'm SURE I've never been... I don't think... ::shudder:: Maybe I was there, but I just don't remember cuz my parents killed that part of my memory... ::makes up short story with that:: Fun.  
  
Jade Crescent - ::sweatdrop:: Ehh... Weird... Fei killed Duo for touching Nataku... His wife or his gundam? I heard that he named his gundam after his wife sooo.... ::shrugs:: Haha! Fei, she's not an idiot... Don't worry... I say worse things than "bastard", believe me... ::sweatdrop... again::  
  
Oh, and one more last comment (irrelevant, mind you). I read this short book called The Witches of Worm and it's about an evil, possessed cat and he acts all weird. He reminded me so much of Heero! Lemme quote something from it:  
  
'"Look at me!" Jessica demanded with no result. Then she jumped at him suddenly, clapping her hands and making a loud noise. "Ssssst!" she went, almost in his ear.  
  
His reaction was not at all what she had expected. She had only meant to scare him to make him notice her, but instead of jumping and running away, he whirled to face her, and Jessica caught her breath in surprise - almost fear.  
  
He looked so incredibly evil. His large pointed ears were twisted outward and shifted back on the sides of his head until they formed a horned crescent - like the horns of a devil. The long tufts of pale hair at their tips quivered in the light like thin blades of electric fire, and the pupils of his mossy golden eyes had narrowed to slits of darkness.'  
  
Yea, he reminded me so much of Heero! He never makes any noises... Except when he's mad. He hides away all the time, he only comes out when Jessica is alone. He's just evil! ::hisses:: Ok, I'm done now! 


	5. A Switch to Insomnia

Oh ugh... This is aggravating... I'm just gonna start and hope it turns out ok... I have no plan whatsoever for this chapter. I apologize ahead of time for it's likely unsatisfactory results.  
  
Warnings: Usual...  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings  
  
Chapter 5: A Switch to Insomnia  
  
It had been a little over two weeks since Duo's arrival at the MI. He was dumbfounded when the people in white decided to change his room with another inmate. He didn't know which one yet, all he knew was that he was having to pack his things for a room switch. There was someone waiting outside the room to take him to his new room when he was ready. Wufei watched him boredly, a little sad to see his friend packing to live somewhere else for the remainder of his stay.  
  
"So... You don't know where you're going? Not even who your new roomie is gonna be?" Wufei wondered aloud.   
  
"Nope... I can't say I do. I know why, though," Duo replied, looking up from his pack. "Some employee told me that the guy I'm switching with has been getting really freaked out when he's in the room with his roomie. This just started recently, but that's all I know." He went back to stuffing clothes into his pack.  
  
"Mm..." Wufei mumbled and he let his mind drift back into space.  
  
Duo finished quickly and waved to Wufei who raised a hand back. Duo departed and was led down the hall towards a different hall where he knew some of his friends' rooms were. He sighed and watched the gray tiled floor and the back of the man's shoes as he walked. He stopped and looked up, straight into bright aqua green eyes.  
  
"Duo?!" Quatre exclaimed in surprise. "I didn't know you were the one switching with me!" He lowered his voice, "Sorry about the sudden change... He was just making me really nervous..." he murmured, shifting around anxiously. His eyes darted around in an uneasy gesture. "Good luck."  
  
Duo nodded, not remembering who Quatre's former roomie was and watched Quatre walk off with the man. He yelped and dropped his bag when he walked into the room and saw Heero on the window seat.  
  
"Duo?" A confused expression crossed Heero's features. "I didn't expect someone I knew..." he said almost cautiously.  
  
Duo smiled a little and nodded. "Yea, I had no idea I was switching with Quatre..." He cleared his throat.  
  
Heero motioned to the bed on the right side of the room. "That bed is yours." Duo nodded again and set his bag on it. "I guess Quatre's spent a little too much time with me," he mused and chuckled a little.  
  
"Were you doing anything to freak him out?" Duo asked, putting his clothes away. "I mean, he said you were making him nervous, but as far as I know, you two have been roomies for a pretty long time, so you must've been acting differently."  
  
Heero shrugged. "Maybe I was acting a little off."  
  
"Off how?" Duo sat down on the bed and kicked his bag under it. He looked up at Heero and waited for an answer.  
  
Heero was looking at the floor thoughtfully as he decided how to answer. "I'm really not sure..." he replied quietly. He continued to stare at the floor, deep in thought. He tried to recall how he was acting differently, but to no avail. In his mind, he was acting perfectly normal for being Heero. He looked up at Duo. "Maybe after being here for a little while, you'll be able to see a difference in the way I'm acting. I can't figure out why Quatre was getting creeped out." He sighed and leaned back against the wall.  
  
Duo shrugged. "Maybe I will... Maybe I won't," he said. "I'll let you know if I see a difference, ah'right?" He smiled reassuringly.  
  
Heero nodded. "Yea... Thanks..." he murmured, his mind obviously still elsewhere.  
  
.......................................  
  
That night after everyone was sent to their rooms for lights out, Duo did notice something about his new roommate.  
  
"Heero, do you ever sleep?" he asked as it came close to one in the morning. Duo had been trying to sleep, but he kept hearing Heero sigh or rustle around or something so he sat up to ask about it.  
  
Heero's low chuckle drifted out of the darkness of the room to Duo's ears. "I thought you were asleep hours ago. I don't sleep much anymore. I'm just an insomniac," he replied in a deep voice. Duo saw his shadowy form shift to a sitting position on his bed. "I can't get to sleep lately."   
  
Duo nodded. But just then, Heero looked up at him through the darkness and Duo shuddered. There was faint light shining through their window and at that angle, Heero's eyes gleamed menacingly. And then Duo noticed that there was something else that was not normal with Heero. Duo could see two bulking forms directly behind Heero's back. They didn't move, but Duo knew what they were. Heero's wings were back to taunt him.  
  
Heero watched the braided boy with confusion as he wrapped his arms around himself and turned his head down, closing his eyes tightly.  
  
Duo sighed inwardly. He always pretended not to see things anymore, no matter how bad his hallucinations got. But this was different... He couldn't stand this one. "Are you ok?" he heard Heero ask.  
  
"Yea, I'm fine," he responded hastily, fighting a panic attack that threatened to make itself known. He then began to wonder why he reacted so strangely to Heero's broken wings, but he could stand to see someone dying in front of him without letting on to others that he was hallucinating.  
  
After a moment, Heero sighed quietly. He found it disappointing that Duo felt he needed to lie to him if something was wrong. "You know you can tell me if something's wrong, don't you?" he asked, voicing his thoughts.  
  
Duo looked towards the wall next to his bed. "Don't worry about it, Heero," he told him in a serious tone.   
  
Heero paused again before replying, "I expect you to answer me if I ask you what's wrong. Especially when it's this obvious that you're upset. Are you afraid of something?"  
  
Duo turned to look at Heero again, glaring angrily at him. His wings were gone, so it didn't bother him much. "I'm not afraid of anything, Heero. What do you think I could be afraid of?" he retorted, being careful to keep his voice down.  
  
"You could be afraid that I would get mad again - Even though you have my word that I wouldn't get mad at you for being upset about something. You could also be afraid that I might tell someone that you still hallucinate even though you pretend not to. I can't exactly promise anything on that level. I get worried about you sometimes but I really don't think it would be necessary for me to give away your secret." Heero leaned forward, crossed his legs and leaned on his knees.  
  
Duo turned so his back was against the wall. "I guess I'm not doing a very good job of covering up my hallucinations."  
  
"Actually, you are. But there are just some little things that you sometimes do when you've been looking at someone for a little too long. Just really minute things that I noticed happen sometimes," Heero pointed out.  
  
Duo nodded. "Well, I can tell you that I'm not afraid of you getting mad at me, or that you would rat me out. I guess I just don't want to push my problems into your face or burden you or anything like that. I don't like telling people about what goes on behind my mask. It isn't something I want my friends to know about..." he trailed off.  
  
"But did you ever think of the possibility that one of your friends could help you? Maybe burdening others with your problems will take some weight off your shoulders." Heero paused, listening for an answer. Not getting one, he continued, "Duo, you shouldn't be afraid to tell people what's on your mind. You'll end up a nervous wreck. I don't think even your mask could cover something like that."  
  
"But that's just something I can't do HERE. I can't talk about my conflicts or about others' misfortunes here. I'll have an emotional breakdown or something. I guess this wasn't such a great place to have met you... You're giving me all this advice that I can't take. Not right now... Not for another two weeks, or more." Duo sighed heavily and looked down at his sheets. Heero was a good friend and he did give wonderful advice, but Duo couldn't risk being in here longer than he had to. He feared that if he stayed here too long, he really would go mad or have a breakdown.  
  
Heero ran a hand through his messy hair and sighed too. "I guess you're right. It seems like you're bearing the weight of the world on your shoulders, my friend. Do you attract people with problems or what?"  
  
Duo laughed a little. "Pretty much. I guess I'm bringing that upon myself, though. I act like nothing's ever wrong with me, I'm someone to dump on. I guess I don't mind when my friends dump on me and tell me everything that's going wrong in their lives right now, but sometimes it seems like I've heard about one hardship too many." He groaned and let himself slip sideways and he landed on his pillow.  
  
"Why do you keep all your problems to yourself?"  
  
"Because it makes me feel weak. It gives me a sense of satisfaction to keep my own worries and woes under wraps but still take on and help with my friends'," Duo replied simply. "It's kinda like when animals get hurt, they don't show it because it would be a weakness and make them easier prey or somethin'. I just don't like to be seen as a weak person."  
  
Heero nodded in understanding. "I guess I know what that feels like, but there's nothing wrong with exchanging problems with someone - Y'know, if they tell you theirs, you tell them yours," he suggested.  
  
Duo propped himself up on an elbow. "Maybe... I guess that could be better for my stress level. There are a lot of people here who I could do that with... It IS a mental institution - Oh, excuse me, I mean a "rehabilitation center"," he corrected sarcastically, making quotation marks in the air.  
  
Heero nodded again. "There are... I think peer counseling is a lot better than real counseling. Your peers understand what you're talking about and can usually relate. Adults can't do that most of the time." He thought for a moment. "Did you ever talk to Wufei about this?" he asked.  
  
Duo shook his head. "No... He's not exactly the kind of guy who seems to care about that... Well, you aren't either, but this whole conversation was your fault, so yea."  
  
Heero chuckled. "I like to pry. But I want to know if just talking about this has been of any help?"  
  
A short spell of silence followed the question as Duo thought. "I don't know. I guess it did. Now I know that it's ok to show a little weakness sometimes. I also know that I don't have to take the weight of the world on my shoulders without giving some away to others. So yea, I think this helped," he concluded.  
  
Heero smiled to himself. "That's good to know."  
  
Duo nodded. "Yea... So, you gonna quit squirming around over there so that maybe one of us can get a little sleep?" he teased.  
  
Heero snorted. "Just for that I should just turn your bed over and dump you on the floor. Or keep talking so you don't sleep."  
  
Duo made snoring noises.  
  
"Very funny."  
  
Duo laughed. "I thought so. But just so you know... When you talk in that low voice you always used to talk with, I feel drowsy just listening to you. You put me to sleep, man!" He laughed again.  
  
"I think you're tired... You're not making much sense. I get what you're saying, but I think you need to be fully awake to put sentences together that make sense," Heero told him in a deliberately low monotone.  
  
Duo made snoring noises again. He yawned. "Yea, yea, yea..." he said, flapping his hand at Heero. "Would you at least TRY to go to sleep? Sleep is good for ya, y'know."  
  
"Yes, I know... I could try. Or at least let you sleep. But in case you didn't know, the word 'insomnia' is the condition of being unable to sleep. I told you that I'm an insomniac, so don't expect me to sleep for another few hours," Heero pointed out.  
  
"I know what insomnia is!" Duo protested. "Would it make you feel better if I sat next to your bed until you fell asleep?" he asked in a high, cooey voice.  
  
Heero growled. "Would it make you sleep better if I knocked you unconscious?" he threatened.  
  
"Alright, alright... I was just kidding..." And with that, he turned over and covered his head with his sheets. "Just quiet down with that insomnia attack over there..." he said through the sheets, muffling his voice.  
  
"Sure, Duo..." Heero muttered and lay back down. Soon Duo fell asleep while Heero stared blankly at the ceiling, watching as the blackness seemed to swirl into a deep, dark abyss.  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
Ok, I know it was short, but it was full of great information, wasn't it? Yes it was. And at the end when Heero was lookin' at the ceiling until it turned into an abyss... I do that when I can't sleep. I'll stare at the black ceiling until my depth perception gets screwed up and it looks like a swirling black hole.  
  
Just some little things I wanna say:  
  
1 - I read over my previous fanfics... Gods those sucked! Well... Shinigami wasn't as bad as Duo? but still... Ugh... How did I let myself go on with them?! Oy vey...  
  
2 - I have a whole new fanfic idea. It's probably going to be really long if it works out. I'll have to go through it in my mind first to make sure it'll make sense and won't get too complicated. Just thought you might like to know that...  
  
Arigatos:  
  
Dragon1727 - Fit more story in? But I have an unlimited amount of space... I make the chapters as long as I want and then I add stuff at the bottom. If it will make you happy, I won't put as much stuff in the author's notes. I'm going to continue to do Arigatos (though they're mostly just replies...).  
  
Butterfly Hikaru - Yup... Straight jacket... I have some questions for you so I can do the next chapter right...  
  
Hazel-Beka - Don't worry, I always fall in love with 2D guys... I could go on, but I don't think I need to name all the guys I adore in anime. And yes, I do cut. But you're one to talk... ::glare::  
  
shinigami11 - Very insightful, but actually, all those gory things just came right off the top of my head. I wasn't looking that deeply into it. I've never seen Shallow Hal... Never interested. But yea, very nice insight... I'll keep your idea in mind...  
  
deranged black kitten of doom - Heero's wings... Good question, I guess you'll have to read more and find out! ::evil laughter::  
  
Ed - Have you read my poem? If you did you never reviewed... I told you guys it was posted on , but yea... Aww... I sowwy you depressed yourself... Not my fault! ::raspberries back:: Anyway, I have no idea what Mormons are... so that all went over my head. Demon-neko... hehe...  
  
Kage Kitsune - Mm... I still don't like that last chapter... even if you say it was good... You lied on my first fanfic!!! That thing sucked! It was written really badly! Blech! ::sticks tongue out at you:: Meh!  
  
my-parents-worst-nightmar - Yea... Duo was drugged and in a straightjacket... he HAD to be good... Heh...  
  
Regina - ::laughs and blushes:: Well, I think that review qualifies for the compliment of the year! Doumo arigato gozaimashita!  
  
nekomoongirl - Yes, I know that YuGiOh is cool... ::laughs:: Heh, that was very deep, but it wasn't deep enough to confuse me. That's how I see Duo, too.  
  
Angel Reid - .... Yea...  
  
Finished. Review - It reminds me to work on an update. Ja. 


	6. I'm Sorry

I just want a short (VERY short) update to keep you drooling for more in the next chapter! Please don't kill me about how short it is! I wanted it to be that way. Don't worry, I'm already starting on the next chapter. It will be up in a few days, I assure you. I have no A/Ns at the end of this, but I'll do Arigatos from chapter 5 and this chapter in chapter 7.  
  
Warnings: Nah... Nothin'...  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings  
  
Chapter 6: I'm Sorry...  
  
Duo's third week at the MI was slipping by slowly. He counted the days until he could leave...  
  
"10 days left..." Duo murmured during Quiet Time one afternoon.  
  
Heero growled. "Would you stop counting your days left?" he asked, a little more than irritated. "It's not like we're gonna be happy to see you leave."  
  
Duo sat up on his bed. "I'm not exactly looking forward to it either, Heero," he retorted. "You're my best friend - You think I want to leave you here?" He groaned and covered his face with his hands. "I'm not gloating about being out of here in 10 days, I'm UPSET about being out of here in 10 days."  
  
"I really doubt you're upset about leaving. You told me yourself - You don't want to stay longer than you have to." (Heero and Duo had been talking a lot lately.) "I'm allowed to leave in another month - I'll be so glad to get out of here."  
  
"Then I wanna stay another month, too," Duo said stubbornly. "I doubt that's gonna happen, but I want to."  
  
Heero looked at him strangely. "Why would you just want to stay until I'm released?"  
  
"I already told you - You're my best friend, I don't want to leave you here. We should be able to get out together." Duo shrugged. "That'd make me happy." He put his hands behind his head and leaned back with his head at the foot of the bed. He closed his eyes.  
  
Heero thought about Duo's words. "How did I become your best friend?" he muttered more to himself than to Duo.  
  
Duo chuckled. "I don't know. It just happened. I like to think of weird friendships as fairytale stories when it's always love at first sight, only this is friendship at first sight," he replied. He turned on his side to face Heero and propped his head up on his elbow.  
  
Heero quirked an eyebrow. "You really think of it that way? What did you think when you first saw me? I'm sure it wasn't 'Hey, that guy looks like a friend to me'."  
  
Duo turned onto his stomach and put his head on his crossed arms. "I dunno... I remember I came into the rec room with Wufei the day I came and I saw you sitting by yourself staring out the window. I just thought you looked really lonely or maybe just mad at the world. I wondered what could have caused you to look like you did and I just watched you..." he trailed off.  
  
"Why did you just watch me like that? If I seemed mad at the world, I'd think you'd avoid looking at me or even meeting me altogether." Heero got up and wandered to the window seat.  
  
Duo bit his lip in thought. "I continued to watch you because nothing was happening to you," he answered quietly. "I was always hallucinating when I looked at someone for as long as I looked at you that day. But nothing ever happened..." He turned his head to see Heero. "Nothing ever happens to you. Except your broken wings," he concluded in a whisper.  
  
Heero gazed back at Duo steadily and noted the sad, lifeless look that stood out in his eyes. "Why do you get so depressed when you talk about my broken wings?" he asked.  
  
Duo pushed himself up to a sitting position with a sigh. "I don't know... You just mean so much to me and it just... Makes me sad to think of you as some kind of fallen angel or something. I know it's just a hallucination, but sometimes... since nothing else happens when I watch you, I think it might be real." He closed his eyes and hung his head. "I don't know if you can understand that, but that's what I feel."  
  
A comfortable silence hung in the air for the next few minutes. "How can I mean THAT much to you?" Heero asked calmly, again, more to himself than to Duo.  
  
Duo shook his head and said nothing.  
  
Heero stared at him in almost disbelief. "A-are you..."  
  
Duo raised his eyes to Heero. He looked so miserable, Heero understood immediately. He turned his own gaze to the floor. If Duo loved him, he couldn't be sure how their friendship would end up.  
  
"I'm sorry, Heero..."  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX 


	7. Love, Confusion, and Pain

Warnings: Lime... I'm pretty sure this is real lime. And one other thing... Let me just put it this way: You won't be happy with me. You were warned.  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings  
  
Chapter 7: Love, Confusion, and Pain  
  
After a few days of silence between him and Heero, Duo decided that enough was enough. Heero hardly even glanced at him anymore. Now neither of them slept at all. Heero was exceptionally aggressive and moody now - towards everyone. And Duo hated every minute of it all.  
  
"Heero! Would you please get over yourself? This is driving me insane!" Duo cried. In a week he would be leaving. He just couldn't leave Heero like this!  
  
Heero turned and tried not to glare at him. He had to agree... This behavior was ridiculous. "Duo, do you love me?" he asked instead.  
  
Duo blinked, befuddled. He really wasn't expecting that. "Well... Yes, but that doesn't mean you have to hate me, y'know."  
  
Heero sighed and crossed his arms. "I don't hate you, Duo - You know that."  
  
"Then why are you acting like this?" Duo demanded. "You really seem to hate me lately - I told you I was sorry! I can't exactly help it! But don't worry about it, I'll be leaving in another week and I'll probably never see you again! Does that make you happy?" he cried angrily. He fought hard against tears pricking the backs of his eyes. If Heero didn't want Duo to love him, fine... He wouldn't.  
  
"You're still my friend. It will not make me happy to never see you again. I know I've been acting immature for the past few days, but I just never expected you to love me," he said quietly.  
  
Duo began to take out his braid. "Gods, Heero... How could I not?" He shook his head and ran a brush through his hair. "You're so nice to me and... I don't know... It's not something I can explain to you..." He started rebraiding his hair again and sighed. "You're the first one I've ever felt safe to really talk to. You're a good listener and you tried to help any way you could. You made me feel welcome, I guess is a good way to put it." He tied off his braid and ruffled his long bangs. He chuckled and looked down at his hands in his lap. "I don't know why I just told you all that... But maybe it'll help you to understand better," he finished.  
  
Heero shook his head. "I don't know if I'll understand anyway... I just don't get it..." he muttered.  
  
"It's a complicated thing," Duo pointed out.  
  
"Don't say that... It's creepy..." Heero rolled his shoulders and shook his head. Duo laughed a little.  
  
"I can't believe I'm telling you all this and you can just sit there and not get mad... Why are you letting me tell you this?" Duo asked incredulously.  
  
Heero shrugged. "I don't know... Maybe it's because I know how much you need to talk to someone about what you're thinking," he told him.  
  
"Or do you just feel sorry for me because I like you and you hate me?" Duo asked in a slightly mocking tone.  
  
Heero sighed exasperatedly. "I don't hate you! Ugh... Why do you think I hate you?" he demanded.  
  
"Deja vu..." Duo muttered. "Didn't we already have this conversation?"  
  
Heero rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall. They were silent for a few minutes until Heero broke the silence, "What would you do if I said that I loved you back?"  
  
Duo shrugged and took this as a very hypothetical question. "I don't know... I guess I didn't think of the possibility of you returning my love," he admitted. He shook his head.   
  
"How much do you love me?" Heero then asked.  
  
Duo chuckled a little. "Whadd'you mean?"  
  
Heero shrugged. "How far would you go if you and I had a romantic relationship?" he asked bluntly.  
  
Duo really laughed at that. "Why do you want to know? How would knowing my romantic intentions get you to forget that I said I loved you? Wouldn't you rather leave it as it is and then leave these memories to grow vague and irrelevant in the back of your mind?"  
  
"That would make sense, wouldn't it? But I guess I'm just curious," Heero replied simply.  
  
"Curiosity killed the cat," Duo warned.  
  
"But satisfaction brought it back," Heero retorted.  
  
Duo laughed and shook his head. "I don't think you need to go that far. You can just leave well enough alone. You don't need to hear the details of my unreflected love for you."  
  
.......................................  
  
Duo was leaving in five days. He and Heero hadn't spoken of Duo's "intentions" since Duo's complete and final end to the conversation they had two days ago.  
  
One night at around midnight, Heero lay staring at the ceiling, just thinking. He heard Duo turn over and sigh and he quietly said into the dark, "It's my fault that you don't sleep anymore, isn't it, Duo?"  
  
Duo sighed again. "In a way, yes," he muttered. "Can you really blame me?" he asked in a low, serious tone.  
  
"Blame you for not being able to sleep on my account? No, not really," Heero admitted.  
  
"Yea..." Duo's voice continued to grow deeper and more defensive. He didn't exactly enjoy telling Heero that he loved him without being loved in return. He was getting sick of it, really. Heero wasn't changing much when it came to speaking to him. He hated not having his friendship with Heero and he wished he'd never told him that he cared so much about him.  
  
As for Heero, he knew that he was being aggressive and unreasonable towards Duo. He didn't want to hurt his feelings, but he wasn't going to lie about where his love lies: Nowhere. He was mean and was shunning him and he didn't regret it except that his friendship was dwindling down to nothing. In truth, Duo was the best friend Heero had ever had. He really didn't want to lose that.  
  
After a full hour of debating with himself, Heero got up and just stood next to his bed. It didn't take long for Duo to realize that he was there. When he first saw his shadowy figure across the room, it scared him but he realized that it was only Heero and he got a little worried. He was just standing there.  
  
"Heero, what's the matter?" he asked, swinging his legs out from under his sheets and standing up. "Are you ok?"  
  
Heero didn't reply. He stood there for a moment longer before moving slowly across the room to Duo. Even in the pitch blackness of the room, he could tell that Duo was tense and probably worried. Duo started muttering questions about if he was ok or if he was sleepwalking or something.  
  
Heero ignored his nervous mumbling and came right up into Duo's face. Here, he could see Duo's eyes were shimmering and frightened. His unwavering stare was making Duo even more nervous.  
  
"Heero..." Duo's voice was trembling. "You're scaring me..." he whispered.  
  
Just as he finished his sentence, Heero moved forward and pressed his lips to Duo's. With Heero's body blocking his way, Duo stumbled backwards. Heero watched him sit down and he kneeled over him, bringing their lips together again. He slowly forced Duo onto his back and took hold of his wrists. He pressed his body to Duo's, hard. He felt Duo trembling beneath him and held his wrists tighter when he began to struggle.  
  
Duo finally turned his head to one side quickly enough to break their kiss. He panted and got chills when he felt Heero's lips on his neck. He remembered that his legs were still dangling off the side of the bed and he pushed himself up so Heero was almost sitting on his legs. This wasn't a problem. Heero merely advanced on him again with frightening swiftness. He once again took hold of Duo's wrists and forced them down so he wouldn't try to push him off.  
  
Duo shook his head quickly from side to side. He stopped and bit his lip to keep from crying out as Heero pressed against him again. Heero kissed his neck, closer to his collarbone this time and Duo bit harder. Tears started to slowly flow down his cheeks towards his ears.  
  
"Heero, stop!" he pleaded, keeping his voice as quiet as was entirely possible for him at the moment.  
  
Heero ignored him.  
  
"Heero, please! Stop it!" he sobbed. He closed his eyes tightly.  
  
Heero let his lips hover above Duo's neck. "Why?" he breathed. "I thought you loved me," he whispered in a deep voice.  
  
Duo sobbed again and turned his head away, keeping his eyes shut. "I do! But this isn't love... This isn't what I wanted from you!" he cried.  
  
"Then what do you want from me?" Heero asked, looking up to see Duo's face.   
  
Duo opened his eyes and looked back to Heero. There was a trickle of blood coming from his lip. "I don't want you to force yourself to do anything you don't want to do... I know you don't want this - You don't love me. This isn't right, Heero... Why are you doing this?" he whispered, still shaking horribly. Fresh tears streamed out of his eyes.  
  
"I completely rejected your love, Duo - You wouldn't want to be around me anymore if I didn't love you back. You'd leave in four days and never see me again," Heero explained. He began to wonder if his lack of sleep was what was causing him to think so oddly. Duo spoke the truth and Heero knew it... This wasn't right.  
  
Duo shook his head. "No, Heero... You're wrong. It's because I love you that I'd keep in touch. Even though you don't love me back. I'm ok with that. I can get over that... But if you force yourself to love me for fear of losing our friendship... I can't forget something like that. And knowing that you did have to force yourself to do this hurts so much more than rejection." He paused, watching Heero's cold eyes. He felt more fresh tears well in his eyes and pour out of them. "Why didn't you just tell me that you were afraid of losing our friendship, Heero?" he asked, his voice breaking.  
  
Heero released Duo's wrists but didn't move his body. "God, Duo..." he sighed, bowing his head and closing his eyes. "You mean a lot to me, too," he said, looking back up into those hurt, amethyst eyes. "I'm sorry, Duo. I know I've done some stupid things. But you must understand - I'm... I'm just afraid..." He stopped and shook his head. "I'm terrified of loving you, Duo... It scares me so badly. I don't think straight, I don't sleep, all I ever do is think about how stupid I've been and what I could do for you to make up for it. But even though I always think about it, I never end up doing what I thought. I fear a romantic relationship because I'm afraid of ending up alone and with a broken heart so I continued to push you away." He backed up off the bed slowly and stood leaning on the bedside table. "I really don't deserve even to have you love me. I'm sorry, Duo... I'm so sorry..."  
  
Duo quickly sat up and drew his legs up to his chest. "Heero!" he sobbed. "I don't understand... What are you saying?"  
  
Heero went and sat on his bed. "Duo - I'm saying I love you... I can't lie to you anymore now. That's the truth. I'm not saying it so you'll continue to be my friend - I really do love you. I've just been so scared of ending up alone. I didn't want to risk a friendship that would last forever to say I love you and have you leave me alone and broken in the next four months. And I know I've been really confusing lately... I thought that if I convinced you that I loved you, I could keep you as a friend but... I don't know, I'm so messed up and I've been doing some really strange, mixed up things to you." He shook his head. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Duo - I never meant to."  
  
Duo watched as Heero ran his fingers along the inside of his bedframe and came out with something in his fist and hurried into the bathroom where he shut the door. Duo's heart jumped into his throat and his stomach did flips as his blood ran cold. "Oh, God..." he muttered before jumping up and hurrying to the bathroom door. He was thankful that they didn't lock from the inside and he turned the handle and heaved against it. Heero had expected that. He, in turn, had all his weight against the door to keep Duo out.  
  
:: Memories consume : Like opening the wound : I'm picking me apart again : You all assume : I'm safe here in my room : Unless I try to start again :  
  
"Oh, God!" Duo said again, louder this time. "Heero! Don't do this! Oh my God... Heero, please come out!" He started crying again and sobbed loudly. "Heero, please!"  
  
He was finally able to heave the door open a little and keep it there as he looked inside and at the "mirror". It wasn't really a mirror. It was reflective, though. He looked at it and saw Heero pushing against the other side of the door while also holding his open pocketknife tightly in his hand.  
  
"Jesus Christ!" Duo threw all his strength into opening that door. "Hee-ro!" he grunted. "I don't want to go get someone to get you out! Don't do this!"  
  
"If you do, it'll already be too late!" Heero threatened, looking at Duo's reflection. "And you know it! Remember when you asked if I could kill myself if I really wanted to? Well guess what - I can!"  
  
: I don't want to be the one : The battles always choose : 'Cause inside I realize : That I'm the one confused :  
  
"Heero! What are you thinking? You can't do this! Please! Be reasonable! I know you don't really want to die!" he cried before he saw Heero pull back a tiny bit and heave against the door, making it close again. He tried the knob but he couldn't turn it. Heero may not be able to lock the door, but he can hold the knob and keep Duo from turning it.  
  
: I don't know what's worth fighting for : Or why I have to scream : I don't know why I instigate : And say what I don't mean : I don't know how I got this way : I know it's not alright : So I'm breaking the habit : I'm breaking the habit : Tonight :  
  
"Duo..." Heero's sad voice came muffled through the door. "I really do love you... And I'm sorry for hurting you so many times..." He could hear Duo sobbing through the door and he shook his head, holding the knob tighter still.  
  
: Clutching my cure : I tightly lock the door : I try to catch my breath again : I hurt much more : Than anytime before : I had no options left again :  
  
"Heero - Please come out and put that away! We don't ever have to speak of this again, I promise I won't tell anyone about this, I swear to God, but please come out!" Duo pleaded, trying desperately to convince Heero that this was not the way to go. "Heero, I love you so much! If you killed yourself, I don't know what I'd do! Please come out!" He collapsed to the floor on his hands and knees. "Please... Heero..." he managed to say between his sobs.  
  
Heero heard him hit the floor and he bent down to look under the door, but kept his hand on the doorknob. He could see Duo's fisted hands and his knees and shins. He sat up again when he saw the tears falling to the floor between Duo's hands. Duo kept pleading while he knelt there.  
  
Heero shook his head. He had his left hand firmly on the doorknob and his right held the pocketknife. He turned his hand over on the knob so his wrist was revealed. He raised the sharp, silver blade to the pale skin of his arm and realized that he was trembling.  
  
: I don't want to be the one : The battles always choose : 'Cause inside I realize : That I'm the one confused :  
  
He shook his head again and held the knife more tightly so it didn't waver as much. He put his index finger over the top of the blade and his thumb alongside it. He placed the blade on his wrist right under the fleshy part of his hand under his thumb. He pressed it harder and watched in hypnotized fascination as a crimson swell of blood gathered around the tip of the knife and his finger. He tilted his wrist oh so slightly and watched it flow away from the knife and drip onto the floor.  
  
: I don't know what's worth fighting for : Or why I have to scream : I don't know why I instigate : And say what I don't mean : I don't know how I got this way : I'll never be alright : So I'm breaking the habit : I'm breaking the habit : Tonight :  
  
Duo watched under the door this time and when he saw the blood, he couldn't help but wonder if he was hallucinating. He turned away and closed his eyes tightly, willing away the "image". But when he turned back, there was more...  
  
: I'll paint it on the walls : 'Cause I'm the one at fault : I'll never fight again : And this is how it ends :  
  
Heero dragged the seemingly white-hot blade slowly and deliberately down at a slight angle towards his elbow. Duo's pleads hadn't penetrated his hypnotic barrier for quite a while now. He watched with growing relief as the warm blood from the wound flowed around his finger and the mockingly bright blade and down his arm to his wrist before dripping off and hitting the floor, making a quickly growing pool of deep red anger and pain.  
  
: I don't know what's worth fighting for : Or why I have to scream : But now I have some clarity : To show you what I mean : I don't know how I got this way : I'll never be alright : So I'm breaking the habit : I'm breaking the habit : I'm breaking the habit : Tonight ::  
  
He finally sighed and the pocketknife slid from his quickly numbing fingers and he lost his grip on the doorknob. Duo heard him hit the floor and screamed.  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
I'm so sorry! Please don't kill me! I was having a moment and it was turning out really well! And I'm starting to wonder if this song that's pounding in my ears right now has possessed me... It's Last Resort by Papa Roach...  
  
Song was Breaking the Habit by Linkin' Park.  
  
Arigatos (Chapter 5):  
  
Hazel-Beka - I've never used anything actually sharp... I use various objects and it depends on how desperate I am... heh, not that you needed to know that, but hey. My sister's an insomniac too... I am sometimes.  
  
Regina - Yea, I had to ask a friend about room transfers so it could be realistic. How long? Um... Maybe a couple more chapters after this one... It's not gonna be very long. That's all I can tell you, I guess...  
  
Shinigami11 - Heh, thanks, but I think it's really cool how you can see so far into things like that. Keep it up!  
  
Dragon1727 - Hehe... I hope this chapter didn't burst your bubble... I apologize if it did... But never fear! I will fix it!  
  
my-parents-worst-nightmar - Your brain broke? ::blink blink:: I sowwy. But yes, I think you are the only one who eats ice cream with chop sticks. Ha, your cat sounds like mine did when we first brought her home as a baby kitten! Lovable...  
  
Kage Kitsune - ::ducks Duo and Heero:: Hehe... I guess you have a good point there... Geez... Ya didn't have to go so far as to throw people at me! Meh...  
  
Arigatos (Chapter 6):  
  
Hazel-Beka - Lol, thanks - I like to read some really sad fanfictions over and over just because they're well written... Like this one about Duo and Heero... it was very depressing but I just kept reading it! Gah!  
  
lil'mi1 - Yea, I like ending my chapters like that... Hehe... in case you didn't notice... ::evil laughter::  
  
Angel Reid - Nope, no non-love! All for the love! Hehe...  
  
Duo-Maxwell5x2 - Yea... Duo's so miserable... How sad is that? But I love the braided baka! Even if he's a depressed braided baka!  
  
Dragon1727 - Yea, me too - Short chapters aren't one of my favorite things in the world... Meh...  
  
Regina - ::evil snickering:: Yaoi-ful... Adieu... isn't that French? ::shrugs::  
  
TKM - Thanks much! I love this story so much! ::hugs it:: I just hope it lasts longer than I expect it to...  
  
kuroi gami - Lol, maybe you should update now! It's your turn! Hehe...  
  
Ja! Remember to review! (Just don't kill me! I won't be able to fix the storyline if you kill me!) 


	8. Haunted

Warnings: This nearly drove me crazy while I was writing it... It scared me...  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings  
Chapter 8: Haunted  
  
**_(Duo burst through the bathroom door. He collapsed to his knees at Heero's head, right in the middle of his pool of blood. His tears disappeared in the crimson puddle. He held Heero's head in his lap and rocked back and forth. He bent his head and closed his eyes. He hugged the still bleeding boy in his arms and screamed his name...)_**  
  
"Duo?" a male voice penetrated Duo's thoughts. He looked towards the floor of the man's office. He didn't reply. He was receiving special counseling because of what he had seen in his bathroom that day which seemed so long ago. "Duo, please - We need to talk about what you saw in order to help you," the man continued from behind his desk.  
  
Duo stood and slowly moved to the window. He placed his fingertips on the glass.  
  
"Duo, do you know where you are? Do you remember why you're here with me?" Duo ignored the man. "I need some sort of response, Duo. You have to communicate with me somehow."  
  
Duo turned and gave the man a ghostly stare, cold and haunting. He then moved to the other side of the room to a bookshelf where a small potted plant stood. He stroked the leaves but turned away from it quickly. Again, he didn't respond to his name as he walked to the door and sat next to it, hugging his knees. He watched the man behind the desk with his dead stare.  
  
**_(He was being hauled away from Heero's limp body. He left the bathroom willingly enough, then he started shrieking and lunging from side to side... Screaming Heero's name...)_**  
  
The man sighed and pushed his chair back from his desk. He rose and told Duo that they'd try again tomorrow. Duo didn't show the slightest indication that he had heard a single word the man had ever said. He stared up at him from the floor and when the man opened the door and walked back to his desk, he rose slowly and was escorted back to his room where more people in white were waiting for him.  
  
He passed by the recreation room and turned to glance inside. He paused when he saw Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre look up at him. Wufei got up first, quickly followed by his friends and met Duo at the door. They knew what happened, and none of them knew where to start.  
  
**_(Duo collapsed to his knees in the pool of blood...)  
_**  
Duo looked lifelessly at the floor and heard Quatre say, "It'll be ok, Duo..." before he was urged forward again and the other boys brushed away.  
  
For the first time in two days, Duo responded to that statement with a shake of his head and continued down the hall.  
  
.......................................  
  
Arriving at his room, more therapists were waiting to see him. He sat down on the window seat and stared out the window... Much like Heero used to. He looked at the empty bed next to the window seat and cringed. One woman saw this and told Duo that they'd move him into a new room before nightfall.  
  
Duo gave her his dead stare and she shivered. He got up and stood next to Heero's bed. He brushed his fingers along the fresh blanket on top and moved to the head of the bed. He kneeled there and rested his head on his arms there. He watched the bed with a solemn longing. He brushed his fingers along the pillow where Heero's head would rest.  
  
**_(He held Heero's still bleeding body in his arms...)  
_**  
He swallowed hard. Everything reminded him of Heero in some way. He pulled himself up onto the bed and lay there right on the edge... As though there were someone there he was next to.  
  
**_(He screamed Heero's name...)  
_**  
The people in white watched with sympathy, but unable to do anything. One woman had to leave the room because Duo's actions had caused her to start crying.  
  
**_(He saw his tears melt into the crimson puddle...)  
_**  
.......................................  
  
After a while they took Duo out of the room and moved him into a cell that was similar to his first one. The door was clear and there was nothing in it except a bed at the far end that was attached to the wall. Duo looked at his reflection in the glass.  
  
**_(He saw his reflection in the blood...)  
_**  
He turned away. He backed up a few steps, but was halted by hands on his back. He didn't push against them. He was about to be sedated for some reason unknown to him. He didn't pull away or anything, he merely watched the needle blankly. They knew he never slept a wink. Maybe this was so he would sleep. He continued to watch the needle come to within an inch of his arm. He let it come until it was just about to pierce his skin when he grabbed it out of the man's hand and hurled it against the far wall, smashing it to pieces.  
  
**_(The blade lay in the blood next to Heero's hand, shining and winking mockingly...)_**  
  
None of the employees had expected that. He was so unresponsive to absolutely everything. His actions had them wondering what they should do, paralyzing them momentarily until they had registered what he had done and took him by the arms. He was no longer looking up. He stared at the floor as he had always done and his arms were limp in their hands.  
  
**_(Heero's body lay limp and unmoving in his arms...)_**  
  
The man who was going to give Duo the sedative shook his head and motioned for them to put Duo in his cell. He walked to his bed and sat down on it, moving against the far corner. He watched them lock the door and talk amongst themselves. One man shook his head and they left.  
  
.......................................  
  
Of course, Duo didn't sleep that night. He watched the employees walk up and down the aisle of cells, checking in on people. They would see him, stop, and move on after Duo's dead stare.  
  
At one point, when he was especially drowsy, he was watching out the door with half-closed eyes. Then he saw a form in a hospital gown wander slowly out from the side and stop in front of his cell. The figure turned and faced him. Duo went slowly to the door and his heart skipped a beat when he saw it was Heero. The hallway was dark except for the little lights in the cells. He couldn't tell it was him from his bed.  
  
:: Long lost words whisper slowly to me : Still can't find what keeps me here : When all this time I've been so hollow, inside : I know your still there :  
  
Duo watched as Heero put his hands on the glass, showing bandages that covered both inner forearms. Heero's eyes were blank and staring. Duo watched him warily. He walked backwards towards the bed again as Heero's bandages turned slowly dark red. He watched from across his cell as the blood seeped out of his bandages, wetting the tape and making it come loose. The bandages peeled slowly back from his wet skin and revealed not one, but two long cuts, one on each arm.  
  
**_(Duo watched helplessly as Heero's left arm continued to bleed onto the floor...)_**  
  
: Watching me : Wanting me : I can feel you pull me down : Fearing you : Loving you : I won't let you pull me down :  
  
Duo backed against the wall, not taking his eyes off the ghostly figure and hugged his knees to his chest. Heero took his palms off the glass and moved back into the middle of the hall, dripping blood from his fingers. Through the glass, Duo could hear each quiet "pat... pat..." of the blood hitting the floor. He watched Heero turn and walk slowly back the same way he had come.  
  
: Hunting you, I can smell you alive : Your heart pounding in my head :  
  
Even after the ghost Heero had gone, Duo continued to hear the steady "pat... pat... pat..." of his blood on the floor.  
  
**_("If you do, it'll already be too late...")_**  
  
: Watching me : Wanting me : I can feel you pull me down : Saving me : Raping me : Watching me :  
  
Duo breathed heavily and watched out the door, listening to the sound of Heero's blood hitting the floor.  
  
**_("Remember when you asked if I could kill myself if I really wanted to? Well guess what - I can!")  
_**  
He pictured Heero standing right outside his cell door. Waiting for him to come out so he could follow him... Torture him... Haunt him.  
  
: Watching me : Wanting me : I can feel you pull me down : Fearing you : Loving you : I won't let you pull me down ::  
  
.......................................  
  
When Duo left his cell the next morning, he glanced up and down the hall, searching for any trace that Heero was still there. He looked down and saw nothing on the floor. No soaked bandages. No blood drops. Nothing.  
  
**_(He looked under the door and saw the blood drops on the floor...)  
_**  
He couldn't help but sigh in relief. He had feared the worst from the beginning, but if Heero had died and come back to haunt him, he would not last long.  
  
**_(He turned back and there was more...)_**  
  
They took him to that office he had been in the day before. He was there for a full hour. Saying nothing, remaining nonresponsive except for his cold, dead stare at those who said something to him that he didn't like.  
  
He was becoming paler and leaner than ever before. His eyes had dark circles under them. He didn't walk as steadily. His vision constantly went blurry. He only drank water and sometimes they gave him fruit juices, which he would only sip for a little while. Eating made him sick to his stomach. His breathing was heavier and he hardly moved when he didn't have to.  
  
**_(Limp and unmoving in his arms...)_**  
  
.......................................  
  
That night, Duo thought that Heero visited him again. Around the same time in the morning, he was watching the hallway like always. He didn't see Heero, but it startled him when a pair of ghostly handprints appeared on the glass, surrounded by the fog that comes up with cold glass sometimes. They remained there for a little while before they disappeared and Duo heard the "pat... pat... pat..." again. For the rest of the night, the steady patting rang in his ears.  
  
When it stopped in the morning, he cried.  
  
'He's driving me crazy...' Duo thought as he cried. 'He's doing it on purpose. He wants me to go crazy.'  
  
Tears continued to run down his cheeks as he was once again taken to that office. Once there, the man asked him tedious questions about why he was crying, how long he'd been crying, and the like. He then moved on to Duo's poor condition. "Duo, you have to eat something. You're starving yourself. We don't want to have to give you supplements through a tube in a hospital bed. Is that what you want?" he asked, not expecting an answer, but merely another stare. That's what he got.  
  
The man started tapping his desk with an index finger. Duo's eyes widened at the "pat... pat... pat..." sound. He covered his ears with his hands, but the sound continued to pound in his head, even when the man stopped. He was sitting in a corner and he started to rock back and forth.  
  
**_(He looked under the door and saw the drops of blood...)_**  
  
He was mouthing something, the man saw and he stood up to go to Duo. Duo didn't hear his encouragements to speak for the now tremendous pounding in his head. He continued to speak without his voice. He rocked more quickly and clamped his hands to his ears tighter.  
  
**_(Pat... pat... pat... pat... pat...)_**  
  
He panted between his mouthed words and tears began to stream down his cheeks. He was mouthing his words much too quickly for the man to follow what he was saying. He was trained to lip read, but this was too difficult for him.  
  
**_(Pat... pat... pat... pat... pat...)_**  
  
Duo finally broke down into silent tears. He brought his hands down from his ears and held his knees. He stared past the man's face and to the window.  
  
**_(Ghost hands pressed against the glass of his cell...)  
_**  
He shook violently and his thoughts whirled around his mind like a hurricane. His fists were clenched so tightly that when he opened them again, purple marks would stand out where his nails were digging into his palms.  
  
**_(Heero lay limp and unmoving in his arms...)  
  
(He saw his reflection in the crimson pool he was kneeling in...)  
  
(The blade laughed brightly at his pain...)  
  
(He screamed Heero's name...)  
  
(Ghost hands pressed against the glass of his cell...)  
  
(Pat... pat... pat... pat... pat...)  
  
("Well guess what - I can!")  
  
(He heard Heero's body hit the floor...)  
  
(Heero backed away from the cell, blood dripping from his fingers...)  
  
(Ghost hands...)  
  
(Blood dripping to the floor...)  
  
("Kill myself...")  
  
(Heero's body hit the floor...)  
  
(Screamed Heero's name...)  
  
(Pat... pat... pat...)  
  
(Heero is dead.)_**  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
If you didn't notice, the parenthesis was when Duo remembered things. They were supposed to skip around randomly.  
  
The song was Haunted by Evanescence.  
  
Arigatos:  
  
Ed - Random subject change, there... Yea... Plot twists make me happy. It means I get to make the story longer. Yay...  
  
Nyxity - Well... they were talking quietly, though I didn't really make it seem that way. Nobody heard them until Duo screamed. Yes, you are correct... Fiction CAN escape all bounds.  
  
TKM - Um... I can't exactly remember what day I updated last, but it wasn't long ago, so I hope you haven't died from sleep deprivation or anything... Cuz then I'd feel bad and lose a fan... Badness...  
  
Hazel-Beka - ::watches Beka warily:: Yeaaa... Ok... Yes, I know... I already knew I would die if Heero died. But sucks for you! All y'alls don't know where I live! Only one person who reads this fic knows where I live and she won't kill me cuz she loves it when ppl die! ::evil laughter::  
  
Nikkler - I'm actually not sure how that could have possibly come out of my mind... I really have no idea. It confused me, but I read it about 80 times after I posted cuz I was so proud of it. Yea yea... Heero dies... not cool... I die... I've heard it about 7 times already ::wink, raspberry::  
  
Shinigami11 - Yep... Murderer... Heero dies... Not cool... Wow... Deja vu! I said that already ::laughs:: Yep, you and everybody else, Shini.  
  
Regina - Hehe, thank you! You're one of the few (if not the only one) who actually complimented me on that chapter along with threats to kill me if Heero dies... Hehehe...  
  
Duo-Maxwell5x2 - ::yawns:: Not cool... Heero dies = Kuiya dies... Update soon... Been here, read that... Lol!  
  
lil'mi1 - Yesssss I love angst too! Yayfulness...  
  
hanyou741 - Not a stupid post, very complimentary post! Arigato! BTW, what does "hanyou" mean? I think I knew at one point... But I seem to have forgotten...  
  
Angel Reid - ::glares:: Did you call my crazy people stupid?!?!?! Nuu! Not stupid, just........ Crazy...? ::laughs::  
  
Dragon1727 - Yea... Duo did eventually get the door open (obviously) but it just happened to be after Heero did stuff... ::sweatdrop:: ::nervous laughter::  
  
my-parents-worst-nightmar - Yay! I am evil... Evil is good... Really? That's happened to one of my readers before... I had a song in my fic and she told me that while she was reading it, that song was playing... It could be coincidence... Some evil force is working for me and making you listen to songs while you're reading the lyrics on my fic and making you think it's just coincidence!!! ::evil laughter:: Actually... that sentence didn't make much sense...  
  
Jade Crescent - Erm....... ::inches away slowly:: I'm sorry... ::flees::  
  
kuroi gami - I haven't read your fic, but if you want me to, I will! But I'm sorry Heero made you sad. He made me extremely happy... I don't know why, but I thought it was just the funniest thing after I got my first few reviews telling me that if Heero died, I would die... It was so weird... I have a sick mind...  
  
Remember to review - Ja ne. 


	9. I Promise

::evil laughter:: I made you all think that was the end of the story! Guess again... ::more evil laughter:: This is a short chapter (shorter than the last short one I did), but I will make it as long as I can and still stop where I want. Rest assured, I will update VERY soon! You can count on it!  
  
Warnings: This chapter is too short to have anything bad... Well... maybe a little...  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings  
Chapter 9: I Promise  
  
The night after Duo's mild breakdown, Heero didn't show up. Duo spent the night cowering in fear for no reason. The next day, his therapist got him to eat about every five hours. In his afternoon session with Duo, he watched as the boy sat next to the window, curled up in a protective ball. He could see by Duo's steady breathing and still eyelids that he was asleep for the first time in days.  
  
He stayed with the sleeping Duo until their session was over at four o'clock. He then quietly left and told the people outside his door to watch Duo and to let him know when he awoke. He was going to meet with his next patient in a different room and let Duo sleep.  
  
Duo didn't wake up for the next three patients he saw. He woke up around seven. He rose and looked around blearily. He had forgotten how wonderful it was to sleep. He was so afraid of having nightmares that he forgot what it was like not to dream. It was the most peaceful he'd felt in the last five days.  
  
He was to see his therapist before going back to his cell, so he waited in the room for the man to return. When he did, he brought more food for Duo to try to eat. It was a full meal that he'd gotten from the cafeteria. He was pleased to see that Duo did eat most of it without getting sick and was sent to bed around 8:30.  
  
Duo went into his room and lay down on his bed, facing the wall. He was relieved not to be watching the door in fear all night long.  
  
But just because he wasn't watching it, doesn't mean nothing happened...  
  
Heero came. Duo was resting, but he wasn't sleeping. He just couldn't sleep in that cell, no matter how tired he was. He had his eyes closed and was still facing the wall when it happened.   
  
Heero first came around the same time of night, although Duo wasn't keeping track. He came and looked in on Duo. Seeing that the boy was facing the other way, he went inside...  
  
Duo could hear something behind him, but he knew it was really there because he could _feel_ it. He opened his eyes and waited. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a pale hand with something below the wrist reach out and rest on his shoulder. Before he really had time to feel it, he jerked away and held his arms close to his sides. He closed his eyes tightly and shivered as a chill slowly ran up and down his spine.  
  
Heero brought his mouth close to Duo's ear and spoke in a strange whisper, "You have to sleep, Duo... You have to start sleeping again. You don't have anything to worry about. Don't be afraid to sleep." He paused and Duo felt his cold ghostly fingers brush his cheek. "Why do you fear me so? I only miss you... That's all... But neither of us have anything to worry about."  
  
Duo wondered what he meant after he didn't continue.  
  
As though reading his thoughts, Heero went on, "Please don't worry, Duo..." Duo could hear the smile in his voice, "We'll be together again soon... I promise."  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
Arigatos:  
  
Hazel-Beka - Third degree? Wow... That hurts, man! ::cries:: The story isn't over yet! Don't kill me yet! I find it funny that I got this idea at 6:45 in the morning (I never get up before 10) and then I write it out, come to see the reviews to do Arigatos, and there your review was... You predicted this chapter. But not very well... ::grin:: But again - Don't kill me yet, it's not over!  
  
Blackwolfzee - ::sweatdrop:: Why were you reading my story at 1:22 in the morning??? Aanywho...  
  
ahanchan - Hehe... I love Inu Yasha... Haven't seen much in Japanese, tho... Coolie, arigato!  
  
lil'mi1 - It reminded you of The Ring? Wow... I didn't even think of that... Hm... ::shrugs::  
  
Shinigami11 - Nope, not the end... This won't end for another couple chapters at least. I would've hated that for an ending.  
  
my-parents-worst-nightmar - LOL! After reading your review for about the fifth time, I finally understood what you said! I was tired the first four times... ::sweatdrop::  
  
Dragen Eyez - ...........................  
  
Shinigami's-Girl - Hehe, that review was amusing for some reason "Depressing chapter... Can't wait to read the next one" ::laughs alone:: ::cricket chirps::  
  
Regina - ARIGATO!!!! You made me finally see how this face can be someone crying T.T .... I thought you were speechless? ::grins::   
  
TKM - Yea, well... Stuff - I'm glad you didn't completely jump to conclusions... I hate it when people do that...  
  
kage kitsune - ::hugs new Duo plushie:: Yay! Erm... Nobody's being destroyed... ::sweatdrop:: Except maybe that therapist... He bugs me...  
  
Heather - Deep and meaningful... ::blush, sweatdrop:: Oy vey...  
  
Jade Crescent - ::grins:: I don't think there is any more I need to say...  
  
Angel Reid - Yea, they're just crazy! ::laughs:: You should be sorry! lol, jk!  
  
Good lord, people! Would you please stop jumping to conclusions?!?!?! The story isn't done! I think almost all of you made the same mistake while reading the last chapter. I will point out that mistake when the time comes. Ja ne! 


	10. I Told You

Warnings: Nothing  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings  
Chapter 10: I Told You  
  
Duo came into his therapist's office the next morning looking exceptionally tranquil. He came in and curled up in the overstuffed chair that stood before the man's desk. He watched the man not with his dead stare, but a calm, tired gaze.  
  
The therapist gave him a confused smile and asked if something was wrong. Duo didn't reply. The man sighed. He wracked his brain for a way to communicate with Duo. He was extremely curious as to why he looked so calm today.  
  
Duo's eyes fluttered closed when the man stopped talking to him for a while. Then he got an idea. He could let Duo fall asleep and try to coax him into talking in his sleep. He remained silent and watched the boy fall quickly to sleep in the chair. His breathing was shallow and even and his eyelids were still once more.  
  
'He's not dreaming,' the man thought. 'All the better.' After about fifteen minutes, he rose from his chair and kneeled next to Duo's head. "Duo," he whispered in a clear, deep voice.  
  
Duo turned his head a little towards him and fell still.  
  
He smiled and nodded. "Duo... Do you know who I am?" he asked. Duo bent his head slightly. "Duo, do you know why you are here?" Same response. The therapist was overjoyed and had to fight to keep his voice low and steady. "Duo, can you tell me why you are here?" Duo curled into a tighter ball and relaxed again. He bowed his head again. "Duo, will you tell me right now why you are here?" Duo's eyelids fluttered for a moment and the man held his breath.  
  
Duo shook his head.  
  
"Duo, do you remember what happened? Do you remember Heero Yuy?" Duo flinched at the name. He nodded. "Duo, I want you to tell me what you remember about Heero." Duo remained still for a moment. He was about to repeat the question when Duo's lips parted and he murmured something. "Duo, you have to speak louder. Repeat what you said."  
  
"Heero..." Duo's voice was low and raspy.  
  
"Yes, Duo. Who was Heero Yuy?" His heart jumped into his throat.  
  
Duo groaned. "Heero... Heero was my friend... He went into the bathroom..." he trailed off.  
  
The therapist nodded. "Yes, Duo. What happened in the bathroom?" he urged.  
  
"Heero took the knife... Bedframe... Bathroom... I couldn't get in..." Duo started to squirm.  
  
"Hush now, Duo. I want you to relax. I want you to tell me what you remember." He watched with relief as Duo stopped moving around.  
  
"Blood..." Duo muttered.  
  
"Blood? Where was the blood, Duo?"  
  
Duo inhaled sharply. "I saw it... Under the door... Heero hurt himself..." He whined and started moving again.  
  
"Relax, Duo. Now tell me, why did Heero hurt himself? Did he tell you?"  
  
Duo nodded a little. "He hurt me..."  
  
The man's eyes widened. He hadn't heard about Duo getting hurt. His heart started racing. "How, Duo? How did he hurt you? Did he hurt your body?"  
  
Duo shook his head. "No... Not my body... He hurt my spirit... He said he was sorry... And he left..."  
  
"He left, Duo?" the man asked.  
  
"He went into the bathroom... I told him to come out, but he didn't listen." Duo was moving around so much now that his therapist thought he was going to fall off the chair.  
  
"Duo, you must relax," he said sternly. Duo took a few moments to settle down. "Good, now I want you to tell me something else. Why were you crying when you came in here two days ago?"  
  
Duo remained still. "I saw Heero... He came to see me..."  
  
"How did he do that, Duo? When?" the man pushed eagerly.  
  
"He came in the night... He watched me through the glass... Blood..." Duo trailed off again.  
  
"What about blood, Duo?"  
  
"He was bleeding again... I could hear it dripping... He was trying to make me crazy." Duo was digging his nails into the chair.  
  
Sighing, the man said, "Is that why you were crying?"  
  
Duo nodded. "Heero was waiting for me. Heero is haunting me."  
  
The man merely watched Duo's face for a little while. "Why were you so calm today, Duo?" he finally asked.  
  
"Heero came again. Last night. Heero came to me. He talked to me." Duo's sentences were becoming clearer. He sighed heavily.  
  
"What did he say to you?"  
  
"He told me not to worry. He told me that we'd be together again soon. He promised," Duo concluded in a whisper.  
  
Startled, the man didn't speak for another few minutes. "Ok, Duo. I'm going to let you sleep now. You will not remember this when you wake." He sighed quietly and rose to sit behind his desk again. He watched Duo sleep peacefully for the rest of the session while he took notes on what had happened.  
  
He went out of the room for his next few sessions again and when Duo woke up, he returned. "I'm glad you're starting to sleep again, Duo," he said when he came in. Duo was looking at him blankly.  
  
He smiled innocently and asked how he slept. Duo didn't reply, but looked out the window. "Duo, I'd like to ask you one last question before you leave. It's alright if you don't answer. I expect that." Duo turned and looked out the window. The therapist nodded and casually asked, "Do you worry about an untimely or early death, Duo?"  
  
Duo's eyes snapped back up to meet his. He stared at him incredulously, his lips pressed together tightly. The man met his gaze calmly and shrugged. "It was just a question. Something is obviously on your mind and I'm just trying to figure out what that is."  
  
Duo continued to stare.  
  
The man nodded towards the door. "You may leave, if you wish, Duo."  
  
He did so quickly. He went to the cafeteria for a bite to eat before he was taken to his room for the night. This time he lay down facing the door. He didn't want Heero sneaking up on him again if he decided to come.  
  
After a few hours of waiting, Duo's spirits were beginning to lift. He relaxed and he dozed for a while. He was roused by something in the middle of the night. He opened his eyes and saw the door. Nothing was there. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and glanced around the room. Nothing. He was about to shrug it off and try to sleep again when he heard something...  
  
'Oh no...' he thought, getting nervous and panicky. He nearly screamed when Heero came and stood in the hallway facing his cell again. He came right up and went through the glass. Duo watched, paralyzed with fear. Heero grinned.  
  
"Hey, Duo. Miss me?" he asked in that airy whisper. He came up to Duo's bed and sat down at the foot. He never took his eyes off of Duo. "What's the matter? Didn't I tell you not to worry? Not to be afraid of me? I won't do you any harm."  
  
Duo looked down and curled into his protective ball.  
  
Heero stood and went to stand next to Duo. He bent over close to Duo's ear again. He cupped Duo's cheek gently in his cold, ghost hand and whispered, "Soon." And he was gone.  
  
.......................................  
  
In the morning, Duo once again found himself sleeping in the overstuffed chair in his therapist's office. After another fifteen minutes, the man behind the desk came to Duo and tried to get him to speak once again.  
  
"Duo, do you know who I am?" he asked as he had the day before. He used the same soothing voice as before, also.  
  
Duo nodded.  
  
"I would like to ask you some more questions. Is that alright?"  
  
Another nod.  
  
"Duo, I would like you to tell me how many times Heero has come to see you at night." He had a plan for this session. A list of questions depending on how Duo answered.  
  
"Four," Duo murmured.  
  
"Did he come last night?" A nod. "Did he speak to you?" A nod. "What did he say?"  
  
"He said... Soon." Duo sighed quietly. "He told me he wouldn't do me any harm."  
  
"He said "Soon"? What did he mean?" He took notes while Duo talked.  
  
Duo was still for a moment. "He meant that we would be together again soon. Soon..." he whispered.  
  
"Did he tell you how you would be together?" the man asked, continuously scribbling out notes.  
  
Duo shook his head. "He just told me that it would be soon."  
  
"Is this why you are afraid of an early death?"  
  
Duo nodded. "I'm going to die. He will make me. Soon..."  
  
The therapist nodded absently. "This is all for now, Duo. You can go to sleep now and you will remember none of this when you wake up."  
  
He then left the room to make a few urgent arrangements.  
  
.......................................  
  
Duo awoke around three in the afternoon and his therapist was already there waiting for him. He smiled. "Duo, I have something I want to show you." He beckoned for Duo to follow him out of the room. He led him down long, unfamiliar hallways and up a few staircases. Duo followed closely.  
  
They soon arrived at a hallway with many doors on both sides. Each one had a small square of whiteboard next to it at eye level and a number above that. The man led Duo to a room that was farther down the hall and he told him to wait outside a moment. Duo did as he was told while his therapist knocked and slipped inside. Duo could hear him speaking to someone and he leaned against the wall.  
  
After a moment, the man came back out and motioned for Duo to come inside. Duo did so. When he stepped inside, his eyes were drawn to a large white bed. It was empty and neatly made. It had different machines around it that were all off. He turned to where the therapist had gone behind a curtain. He heard him behind it. "Come on, now."  
  
Duo sighed and walked around the curtain. His therapist was standing next to another man in a long, white coat and across from them, next to the window, sat Heero Yuy. Heero was watching him. Duo just stared.   
  
"Hey, Duo," Heero said quietly. "Didn't I tell you not to worry?" he asked with a slight smile. "I told you we'd be together again soon." Duo saw that he had a long bandage on his left inner forearm and he was wearing a hospital gown.  
  
Tears flew from Duo's eyes as he sprinted to Heero's side and fell to his knees beside his chair, throwing his arms around his middle. Still crying loudly, Duo managed to say, "Heero! I thought you were dead! Nobody ever talked about you or anything! You were a ghost, Heero! You came to my room!"  
  
"Yes, Duo," Heero replied calmly, stroking the boy's hair. "I did come to your room. And didn't I tell you that we'd be together again soon?"  
  
"Yes, but I thought you were dead! I thought you were going to kill me too so we could be together. How did you get to my room if you weren't a ghost?" he asked, calming a little. The two other men had left the room by now.  
  
Heero chuckled a little. "I'm not really sure, Duo. It just happened."  
  
Duo nodded. He had nearly stopped crying.  
  
Heero embraced Duo tightly and brought his lips close to his ear. "I told you."  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
Ok, this chapter wasn't so great, but it works, ne? Just so you know, this fic is still not over. I still have at least one more chapter to go.  
  
I will now point out your mistake that caused you to jump to the conclusion that Heero was dead. In chapter 8, I told you in the Author's Notes that the parenthesis was Duo remembering things; they were his thoughts. He thought that Heero was dead. I never said it otherwise. I never confirmed Duo's thoughts ::grin:: 


	11. Curses Lifted and Broken Wings Mended

If you're confused about being notified about this "new" chapter... I just rewrote the ending a little bit and it seems better to me.  
  
Warnings: Sorry... This is the last chapter... ::cry cry::  
  
Lifting Curses and Mending Broken Wings

Chapter 11: Curses Lifted and Broken Wings Mended  
  
"In a sense, I WAS dead."  
  
Duo stared at Heero incredulously. "How is that possible?" he asked, sitting in a chair next to Heero's. They were still in Heero's room, trying to sort things out.  
  
Heero shrugged. "Well, you told me that during the night, my ghost came to you. The only thing I can think of as to how I did that was when I went into a critical state at times during the night. They told me that I wouldn't respond to anything. I remember waking up in the middle of the night. I didn't know where I was, so I got up and wandered around. I was so confused when I came to your room. I saw you and when you freaked out, I left."  
  
"But you didn't just leave. You started bleeding. You had bandages like these-" Duo motioned to the bandage covering Heero's left forearm. "-on both arms and they came off. You backed up a little and I could hear it each time a drop of your blood hit the floor." He shivered. "When you left, I kept hearing it."  
  
Heero nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I don't remember any bleeding, but I did leave after you reacted the way you did. I went back into the room I woke up in and didn't remember a thing after that. I woke up in the morning with people around me talking and flipping out. I told them I was fine and they left me alone." Heero stood up and looked out the window before continuing, "The same thing happened the next night. I went into a critical state and I guess you could say that I left my body." He turned back to Duo. "That's the only way I could have gotten to your cell," he concluded.  
  
Duo sighed. "I was sure you were dead and you were trying to drive me crazy. When you came the third time and actually talked to me..." He shook his head. "Ugh, you just made me want to go jump off a cliff."  
  
Heero winced. "Sorry, Duo. I didn't mean to. I tried to tell you that I wouldn't hurt you and that you'd be seeing me again soon, but you just weren't listening."  
  
"I couldn't... I was busy thinking about how you would kill me." Duo grinned. "But in a way, you telling me that we'd be together again soon gave me more comfort than anything. I had begun to eat and sleep again by the time you came to me the third time." He paused and thought for a moment. "You seemed so bent on scaring the hell out of me... What were you possibly thinking when you came to see me?"  
  
Heero shook his head. "I don't know. I guess I just missed you..." He smiled sadly. "Wanting to be with you has made me do some strange things before, if you recall."  
  
Duo glared at him. "Don't even," he warned. "If there's one thing I want from you, it's to get your head on straight so you can think sanely again."  
  
Heero laughed. "I think I've done that now that everything's cleared up," he insisted.  
  
Duo rubbed his forehead. "Mm... Have you, now? I find it hard to believe that you can ever think like someone who's got any sense." He grinned. "But everything's not cleared up. Not completely."  
  
Heero nodded. "True, but I really don't think it ever can be." He sat down in his chair and rested his chin in his palm, watching Duo.  
  
Duo met his gaze and noticed the intense, yet dreamy look in Heero's eyes. He smiled. "What're you thinking about, Heero?" he asked quietly.  
  
Heero smiled back. "I'm thinking about how happy I am that I'm alive." He paused. He leaned back in his chair again. "You see, I really didn't mean what I said when I was in the bathroom that day... I told you that I could kill myself if I really wanted to. You and I both knew what I meant by that, but all I really wanted was to avoid seeing you until I could get all my feeling sorted out." He held out his left hand, palm up so that his bandages showed. "I do this for relief. This is my only escape from things I don't want to face. And right then, I really didn't want to face you. I had a good mind to just slit my throat and be done with the whole thing that we like to call life. But I knew after you said that you didn't know what you would do if I killed myself that my committing suicide wouldn't help either of us." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I know what to avoid when I do this, Duo. I know where my veins are that would kill me if I so much as grazed them. I know how deep each one is buried beneath my skin. I am really very careful when I cut. It might just seem like a reckless action of confusion to anyone else, but it's not. I can estimate how deep I can go before I hit something, which is how I stayed alive during all those times I've done it." At this point, he reached up and peeled his bandage off, revealing one long line of small, black stitches. "When I did this one, I knew what I was doing. I avoided major veins. I did make it deep enough so that they had to use stitches for it to heal, but I lightened up when I crossed the blade over something that could be fatal." He shook his head and chuckled bitterly. "Hell, I could've cut my arm open to the bone if I really wanted to die. I wouldn't worry about the major veins and then it really would be a reckless action of confusion."  
  
Duo stared in disbelief at Heero as he fell silent. "I don't think I've ever heard you talk so much at one time, Heero." He shook his head. "But all that you just told me makes sense."  
  
Heero waited for him to continue, but when he didn't, he said, "You really shouldn't get me talking about something I feel passionately about. You'll never get me to shut up."  
  
Duo laughed. "Oh yea? Well that's something that I thought I'd never hear from you, Heero." He shook his head. "But you didn't tell me that they had to use stitches so it would heal..." He stared at the stiff little thread-like spines poking out of Heero's arm. He shivered. "Nasty..."  
  
Heero quirked an eyebrow. "Haven't you ever had stitches before?" Duo shook his head quickly. "I thought so... Do you have some kind of phobia of getting stitches?" he asked with a grin.  
  
Duo glared at him. "No! I just don't want to get them..." He wrinkled his nose at Heero's arm. His expression turned serious. "Did it hurt?"  
  
"What, when I cut?" Duo nodded. "I don't know. I guess it does at first, but the pain kinda subsides after a while. It's just some sick fascination with cutters. Seeing our own blood gives us comfort. It's relieving. When I first started cutting, I would keep my blood in a little jar that I kept hidden away. When the jar got full, I stopped gathering it."  
  
"Eew! Don't do that! That's disgusting! You actually kept it?!" Duo cried. He shuddered.  
  
Heero nodded casually. "I really don't think of it as such a big deal as everyone makes it out to be. They should just be thankful I haven't done anything worse."  
  
Duo held up a finger. "Ah, but it's knowing that you CAN do something worse that makes it a big deal," he pointed out. "As far as we know, you could just start hating everything and decide you were done with it all and find you dead the next morning."  
  
"But the real point is," Heero began, holding up a finger as well, "I wouldn't do anything worse because there are some really important people in my life that I wouldn't want to leave behind feeling like it was their fault that I committed suicide." He smiled gently. "Like you. That's another reason why I didn't kill myself in the bathroom that night. I was all messed up because of you, and if I had died, you might've blamed yourself. I would hate the thought of you living in agony for the rest of your life thinking that you could've done something about it."  
  
Duo nodded solemnly. "Yea, that definitely would've happened... So many times that night and up until now, I have wished that I had never told you how much you meant to me. That I love you. But now I can see that life has a way of repaying you for your sacrifices. I guess that doesn't happen all the time, but I believe that that's what happened in our case." He smiled. "I never thought that loving you would be easy, but this was just ridiculous."  
  
Heero laughed. "Yes Duo, you're right. I know it wasn't easy loving me, but I suppose it just takes a lot to earn my trust enough for me to love you in return. But you never gave up. You weren't ashamed of yourself or anything. You were so open with me that I really had to fight to not love you back." He smiled. "But I guess you won the war after all."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Another month went by. Duo and Heero took therapy and cooperated better than they had ever before. It was easy to see that both were so much happier, even though Duo still had to sleep in a cell and Heero stayed in the hospital wing. Heero got his stitches removed after two weeks and was kept under strict supervision 24/7 for the remainder of his stay.  
  
Duo had asked to be moved back into his old room with Heero for the last week and since they had both been on such good behavior, they were allowed to do so. He had also requested that he be released on the same day as Heero. But that wasn't bad either as they were supposed to be released within two days of each other.  
  
So during Quiet Time the day before they were supposed to leave, Heero and Duo were packing their things for home.  
  
"What're you gonna do once you get out of here?" Duo asked Heero as he finished packing away the rest of his extra clothes.  
  
Heero shrugged. "I'm not sure. It's summer vacation now, so I can't go back to school. That's probably a good thing, though," he added.  
  
Duo nodded. "Yea, same here. School got out for me at the end of last month. I guess I'll just laze around for the rest of the summer. Unless my parents decide I need summer school, too." He sighed.  
  
Heero laughed. "Don't worry, I've been here longer than you have. I'll probably be the one needing summer school." He sat down on his bed and smiled at Duo.  
  
"But you're also smarter than me," Duo pointed out. He crossed the room to stand in front of Heero. He quirked an eyebrow. Heero put his hands on Duo's hips and pulled a little.  
  
Duo gladly placed one knee on either side of him and sat on his legs. Heero pulled him close and Duo wrapped his arms around his neck. He laughed a little nervously. "We're not on a surveillance camera or anything, are we?" he asked, fiddling with the back of Heero's shirt.  
  
Heero shook his head. "I really doubt it, but I couldn't care less if we were," he breathed and kissed Duo. He slipped his hand up under Duo's shirt and pulled a little harder, pressing against his back. Duo slid forward a little more, closing the space between their bodies.  
  
Heero pulled back and broke their kiss. He looked into Duo's eyes, full of love and desire. He smiled. Duo grinned in return and rested his chin on Heero's shoulder. After a moment of silence, he said, "Hey, Heero, guess what? I don't see things anymore." He hugged Heero tightly.  
  
"Are you sure about that?" Heero asked and right in front of Duo's eyes, long, white feathers suddenly appeared. Duo gasped and pulled back, but Heero's hands on his lower back prevented him from getting up. He looked at Heero's face, then back at his wings. He looked down at them and was confused when they continued on past where they were previously broken and torn. They were whole!  
  
"Heero! Your wings! They're... They're..." Duo stammered in bewilderment.  
  
"I know, Duo. They're not broken anymore." He received a confused stare from Duo. "Yes Duo, I know my wings are whole. You were right, they're not a hallucination. They're real, Duo," he whispered.  
  
Duo licked his lips uncertainly. "How can you have wings?"  
  
Heero shrugged, making his wings lift a little. "I don't know, but you have them too." He took his hands out from under Duo's shirt and touched his shoulderblades. "Here," he said, and Duo could feel him touching around something.  
  
"But... Where did they come from, Heero? How could I have had them without knowing I did?" he asked, not quite daring to glance around to see if Heero was telling the truth.  
  
Heero chuckled. "I can't answer that, Duo. I don't know. You're the only one who has been able to see my wings. I knew they were there since I was little. But nobody else noticed." He took his hands off of Duo's back and watched him stand and back up. He also stood and looked over his shoulder.  
  
Duo watched in awe as Heero stretched his wings out to their full extent, which was nearly the length of the room. They quivered and were folded back down to Heero's back. "You see? I know they're there."  
  
Duo finally glanced back over his shoulder to see his own wings which Heero claimed he had. He was surprised to see that his feathers were black. He reached around to touch one and felt how wonderfully soft they were. He looked back up at Heero. "Why are mine black? Is something wrong with me?"  
  
Heero laughed. Duo obviously didn't think it was funny. "Oh, lighten up, Duo. The color isn't something you can control. Your wings have always been black."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Because feathers don't change colors. Even these." His right wing curled around him so he could brush the tips over his palm.  
  
Duo curled his left wing around him in the same way. "Does everyone have wings?" he asked.  
  
Heero shrugged again. "I don't know, Duo. Yours and mine are the only ones I've ever seen. But you know how people sometimes roll their shoulders for no apparent reason? I think that's when they're doing something with their wings, whether they realize it or not." Duo nodded thoughtfully. "I think that everyone has their own pair of wings that they can see and feel. Maybe there's only one other person in the world who can see and feel someone elses wings. Nobody else can see them. Only those two people."  
  
Duo smiled. "Y'know what? I think you're right," he said quietly, crossing the room again to embrace Heero. "I'm glad I can see your wings. And I'm glad that you can see mine." Duo's wings then circled around him to brush lightly against Heero's.  
  
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Owari.  
  
Arigato:  
  
Thank you guys so much for helping me along and encouraging me throughout this story! I want you all to know how much finishing this story meant to me. I feel like this is the best work I have ever done, but without all of you, I wouldn't have had the confidence to finish it. I thank you now from the bottom of my heart. I'm so proud of this! I'm sorry it couldn't have gone on longer than it did, but I had a feeling that it wouldn't work out. I hope to see you all reading my next GW fanfiction. Although it might be a good story, I don't think anything I write after this will make me nearly as proud! I love this story and I hope you read it many more times without getting sick of it.  
  
Doumo arigato gozaimashita, minna-san! Sayonara! 


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